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What can I do?

The past few weeks have been really rockie between hubby and I. its like when he leaves for work he is sweet & when he gets home he is an a$$ to me. at first i thought it was cause stress but now im not sure. i have been asking him y he is acting like this & he says because that is just him & how he is and i know thats not true cause he has never been like that well last night i asked him again why he was being so mean & he replied that it was cause he don't like me but when i came home he was in bed asleep & rolled to cuddle with me this morning when his alarm went off & he kisses me before he leaves & tells me he loves me & all that although he only calls sometimes at his breaks at work and it used to be that he called me every break he got. I feel us going down hill & I dont want that so i need some advice as to what to do. i asked 1 friend she said stick it out asked another she said leave him & we have 2 yr old DS as well

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TatymMommi

Asked by TatymMommi at 11:50 AM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (934 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • IDK. Maybe Multi Personalities.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 11:53 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Sounds like he is having a really hard time at work. My advice would be to find other things to do for a few weeks when he gets home, he will realize.
    urkiddingright

    Answer by urkiddingright at 11:53 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • COUNSELING. For you at the very least if he won't go with you... it will help you figure out whether yhou shoudl stay or go.

    Your husband sounds like he is too stressed and possibly depressed. I would not leave him, but neither would I just stick it out. I would tell him he needs to get help.

    He may not even be aware of what he's doing. You could try rolling a video camera on his homecoming and then let him see it int he morning.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:54 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • It really does sound like after work may be stressing him out. When he comes home, he may be grouchy and tired.My dh is like that sometimes too. Its important for you to try not to take it personally. I know I can be a real bitch when I'm over tired,lol.
    After he is well rested come mornign time...hes' being sweet and loving so that has to mean something. Maybe after he gets home from work suggest to him that he take an hour for himself to take a nap or lie down and relax , maybe that will help.
    Hang in there. Hope it gets better soon.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:57 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • With all due respect, I hardly think these are reasons to break up a marriage. It is all hearts and roses at first...welcome to reality of marriage.
    Sure, he won't call as often, he will be crabby etc...this is how life is. My DH is in a great mood for the most part when he leaves in the morning...but he is a crab ass when he gets home. He works out in the heat and works with lazy young guys who irritate him...he takes it out on us from time to time. I remind him we are not the reason he is crabby and to please try to keep that in mind. Talk to him, tell him you are worried. Tell him you feel unhappy with the way things are and go from there.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:58 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • not reson to leave!
    but yes, it is a reson to be concerned
    lots of mixed signals he is giving you
    be patient and trust your instincts
    most likely work stress
    BUT could be something else
    i mean who says to wife.. i do not like you???
    possible transfer of guilt over something he did or thining of doing-hope not for you but possible
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:10 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • It sounds like he doesn' t like his job. He is having issues at work, and then taking his anger out on you. You should asking what the problem is at work, not whats wrong with you. Maybe he needs to look for a new job.
    xpandyourmind

    Answer by xpandyourmind at 12:12 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I do know that he works in the heat because he installs overhead cranes in buildings and sometimes has to build the cranes and weld in this heat as well. He also i know for sure HATES his job because his partner that he travels with and works with most of the time is an older guy who is a smart ass and hubby says he really hates him because he is always being a smartass bout everything then jumps down hubby when hubby returns it. he was told that he could stop traveling but would have to take a pay cut and he is about to be getting a raise as it is. right now he makes almost $16 an hr and works 80-100 hrs every 2 weeks and lately he work a 75 hr week! and right after that is when he started acting this way.
    TatymMommi

    Comment by TatymMommi (original poster) at 12:13 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • this:
    With all due respect, I hardly think these are reasons to break up a marriage. It is all hearts and roses at first...welcome to reality of marriage.
    Sure, he won't call as often, he will be crabby etc...this is how life is. My DH is in a great mood for the most part when he leaves in the morning...but he is a crab ass when he gets home. He works out in the heat and works with lazy young guys who irritate him...he takes it out on us from time to time. I remind him we are not the reason he is crabby and to please try to keep that in mind. Talk to him, tell him you are worried. Tell him you feel unhappy with the way things are and go from there.
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 12:24 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • He said he didn't like you? Did you press for more info on that? Also..you are probably really sentitve right now. I would try to ignore him a lil. And stop being so accomdating. The best thing you can do is give him some space.
    EttaMay

    Answer by EttaMay at 3:33 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

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