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Why does my son keep having accidents in his pants

My son is 7yrs old going into the 2nd grade , ever since his grandmother (my mom) got sick he started to have accidents and then after her death in June 2010 it seems like it has gotten worse. I'm not sure what to do anymore we have done punished him , taking things away from him , and giving him extras things. We made an appt with his Dr to see what she says, but he is old enough to know better he is a very smart boy. We are stuck if anyone has any suggestions I would like to here them.

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aim1113

Asked by aim1113 at 3:14 PM on Aug. 20, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Seems to me they're not "accidents" they're "on purposes" He's acting out for some reason. Have you tried having him clean up his own clothes when he does this?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:16 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I would also start reminding him to go just as if he were a toddler.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:18 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • It sounds like he is going through a lot of stress with his grandmother getting sick and dying. I know my daughter was fine, but when my husband deployed she started wetting her pants. When we moved, same thing. Punishing him is not going to work. We did that too. We took her DS, grounded her off the computer, etc. Nothing worked. He may need to talk to a professional about his coping mechanism. Especially if he was close to her and it was his first experience with death and illness.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 3:31 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • No I haven't made him clean his own clothes after , but I will try that hopefully that will work and we do remind / tell him to goto the bathroom throughout the day.
    aim1113

    Comment by aim1113 (original poster) at 3:32 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Sounds like he is reacting to the death of his grandmom. Children can not express their grief like adults. They internalize it and things like this happen. He should not be punished. Talk to him about his grandma and how special he was to her (I assume). You can get a child's book about death for him, maybe plant some bulbs as a special remembrance, etc. Get him on a regular toilet routine until he is OK and ask his pediatrician for help also.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 4:35 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Absolutely make him clean it. It's no accident. Well maybe. My younger brother had accidents for years until my parents took him to a doctor that solved the problem -- blockage in his colon. It was gross and he couldn't control the seepage, but once they got him cleaned out, the accidents stopped.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:43 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

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