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why wont he stop downloading it?

my fiance has wathed porn and it used to not bother me. but since we found out that i was pregnant it has gotten horrible. he gets up at all hours of the night to watch it on the computer because i have gotten rid of the dvds because he wouldnt keep them put up. and when he downloads it on the computer he tries to lie to me about it when i can go to the interenet history and look and see where he was on teh computer for hours looking at it. we have no sex life because according to him my "pregnant belly" doesnt turn him on and he cant have sex with someone that doesnt turn him on. please help me because i dont want to lose my fiance and the father f my baby....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You already have and it is to porn addiction. This addiction is just as real as to a drug--be it alcohol or another substance. Start reading up on it. There is NOTHING you can do to stop him. This is now about you learning how to not make it your problem You are NOT the reason for the lack of sex. Please don't take this personal. It is an addiction. Please start to educate yourself on it. If he doesn't get help, you will have two choices--to stay and deal the best you can--or leave and hope that is enough to get him into treatment. But you didn't cause it, you can't cure, and you can't control it. It is an addiction.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Go to Focus on the Family website and put in a search for porn addiction. There is a load of information and resources. Please don't wait. It WILL NOT get better on its own. Fighting with him will do little good, except to upset you. If it weren't for this addiction, he would find you sexy and such--but he is now caught in the cycle of addiction. My heart breaks for you but there is hope--just don't settle for the stupid idea that porn is normal or ok for adults--as you have seen, it is addictive and destructive.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • i would not marry him until he has a control over his addiction. this is a huge epidemic now days in around the world. also not only cause he has an addiction but because there are others issues here as well. get therapy for his addiction and get a porn blocker on your computer to start off with as well. hurry you have no time to waste.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:48 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Do you really want someone like him anyway?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Yea don't marry him until there is absolutely NO porn. You can also get a parental block put up on your computer. I'm sure there are moms here on CM who have them so maybe you can ask a question about free/downloadable or cheap parental blocks to put on the computer fo this. This must make you feel awful about yourself.

    Continued
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I know I felt unattractive when I was pregnant but dang...He must make you feel like crap...What a jerk. Yes porn addiction. I can't believe some men out there are so shallow that they will hurt their wife and make her feel ugly just because she doesn't look like a porn star so they resort to other things and abandon her. My advice to you is leave him (temporarily) and tell him your not coming back until the porn stops completely. Go stay at your moms or somewhere you know you can stay...Don't be scared to leave...If he really loves you then he will want you back and stop. If not atleast you know the truth. TRUST ME. It WILL GET WORSE so make a move now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

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