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Should I worry?

My boyfriend was dumped by his wife of 26 years 2 years ago for an affair she had with a family friend. She was a stay at home mom, never worked and was always home. She and her lover carried on for a few years before he pressured her to leave her husband (my bf) and they live together. Myboyfriend became very successful in his career so needless to say, he has to pay her alimony for a few years because that is the way the law is set up and he has no choice. He has met me and has become so happy in our relationship because we have way more in common than they ever had. But get this! She emailed him the other day asking "Do you have any room in your life for a friendship with me?" She also sent him a card. He didn't tell me for a few days and it preoccupied him. He says I don't have to worry...but a part of me is worried she is trying to get him back.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • i would tell him how you feel a part of me would say yes i'd be worried but if you really know the guy and know you got something really good going on and his eyes are on you and not her anymore then no i wouldnt be worried if they want to be friends ok in that situation but nothing more than just friends.

    Answer by Keolalani at 12:58 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I wouldn't worry about it. Trust him & his word you have no worries. However this could very well be on her agenda. But this is only because she had it good & she pissed it away. She realizes that now & because he is not miserable without her she wants to try & stir things up. Keep moving forward in your relationship & keep communications open especially in this subject. Good luck. Just try to remember he is happier now with YOU than he ever was & YOU are the one who makes him happy.

    Answer by HelenStoner at 1:01 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I read somewhere that women become more attracted to a man when they know other women are attracted to them. I'm sure that because I'm so in love with him and we have such a great connection that this makes her want him again. I know that this was such a supreme betrayal he felt with her leaving the way she did. But I know that he feels sort of vindicated by her reaching out to him - sort of satisfying to his ego. But I hate the way she is butting into our relationship in this way. What a b*tch! She didn't want him but now does because I want and love him. (I also heard from a mutual friend that things aren't so great with her boyfriend these days....sheesh).

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • i would be worried too but not so much as to throw it all away. she is probably just jealous of the fact that he found someone even if she already had someone. i don't think that she really loves him and that she really wants him back. if your bf is telling you not to worry then i feel his intention is to not let what she has done become between what you and him have. i know it's harder said then done to just not worry but try to trust him and set your mind at ease for now. it's seems your bf has not given any credit to her actions and knows very well what she is playing at.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:03 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • well now i'm a women who was married to my hubby for 17yrs. and he was the cheat since day one but near the ending of our relationship after him cheating on me off and on for about 12 yrs. i finally paid him back and cheated with a friend and not to say i am proud of it. but it happened and it broke us up big time always fighting over it so i left him. it was really hard for us both to get over it. i'm not tring to tell u to leave him but just be very carful because of them being together so long they do have this bond no matter what.

    Answer by heavensent1174 at 2:13 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • She might be trying to get him back, but that doesn't mean she will.

    Answer by Ilovepie77 at 2:18 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I would talk to him about it.. maybe even as much to ask him if he still has any feeling for her.. even if just slightly. See where she stands in him life and see where you stand.

    Answer by atjm0919 at 11:13 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

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