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2 Bumps

mother-in law? mother get out of my biz

My husband and I currently live with his parents to save money tfor our own house..
I am 30 weeks pregnant with twins. The closer I get towards the end of my pregnancy the more uncomfortable I am and the more my back hurts.
It's to the point where if I go to the store I use one of those motorized scooters.
So the last 2 weeks I have pretty much lived in my bedroom.
My mother in law thinks i'm being lazy and keeps insisting I should get more exerice saying "I worked out till I was 8 months pregnant" She has never had twins so WTF??? and who is to tell me about exercise. If you look at my pictures i was more in shape than the average person. It's to the point I want to move out.
Am I wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by FITmama2B at 5:42 PM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 14 (1,666 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I would just tell her that each person is different and that each pregnancy is differet exspeacially a single vs. twin prenancy and that if she would please keep her comments to herself it would be great but then I usually end up starting trouble so ... I caution you to think before taking doing anything I say

    Answer by msh88 at 5:45 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Don't let her comments get to you. It is different when you are carrying two babies instead of just one. She should know that without having had experienced it, but apparently she doesn't really understand the difference. Maybe you could just smile sweetly and say that she is just a better woman than you are. That's what she wants to hear, so if you tell her that, chances are she will hush about it. The quickest way to diffuse someone like her is to just agree with whatever she says. There is no need to defend yourself nor to tell her how you feel. She just wants you to acknowledge that she is one terrific woman, so just tell her what she wants to hear, and maybe she will go away. It's really not worth your getting upset over.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:45 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • You can either ignore it or make snide remarks back at her and blame it on the hormones LOL.

    Personally, I like the snide remarks.

    Answer by Deathlilly at 5:47 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • You can think what you want but since you are living OFF her you MUST be polite. Or yes, i agree, you must move out.

    Answer by sahlady at 5:58 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Sorry, but I disagree with PP who said you must be polite. We lived with my in-laws for a while just starting out and I was polite to the point I kept quiet and my MIL made me a nervous wreck. Now she still tries to run our lives. Put her in her place now and avoid the years of headache later on.

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:50 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Your mother-in-law's words completely set to one side, YES !!! You should be getting exercise - for your sake and your babies' sake. I am sure you have read any number of pregnancy, labor & delivery, and getting started with breastfeeding & caring for a newborn books. And I am sure you have seen how they all recommend exercise.

    Remember that during the last trimester, 15 MINUTES of exercise is equal to an hour. The mother's body is already working hard internally. And I imagine this is heightened with twins. So do not picture yourself doing calisthenics, jogging or taking long hikes.
    15 - 20 minutes of walking a couple of times a day is what is called for. This tones your uterine muscles, completes your leg circulation (which does not happen without walking), and keeps your heart & lungs strong.

    An easy labor is important because it prevents complications, which make birth risky for mom & babies.
    Exercise = easier labor !

    Answer by waldorfmom at 11:00 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • lol well I do have to agree with you after seeing your photos.. you're definitely a fit woman, and having that much muscle tone definitely shows that it didn't come from being a couch potato.

    Perhaps you can have her come to a doctors visit with you and have them explain the complications of being a pregnant mother of twins..or search the net for examples like: how extra exercise can induce labor and that isn't desirable with twins (especially since you have to worry enough about them being preemies). Do what is right and safe for you and the babies :)

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:22 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I like xxhazeldove's answer. I agree have your MIL come with you to your doctors appointment and have them go over your limitations. Also have a word with your husband on this matter. You are already not comfortable physically, the least they can all give you is peace of mind.

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:26 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • o i know how you feel that same thing happen to me when i had my first son it was horrible we were living with her and my whole pregnancy was high risk i had to be in bed rest at 7 month i was in complete bed rest because i went into preterm labor and my sons lugs were not ready so the doctor said to make sure i stay out my feet so i wouldnt go into labor since i was already 6 cm open. she literaly told my hubby that all i did was stay in the room laying down in the bed that she wasnt going to be nobodies servant and then got somad when i told hubby either we move out or im going to my parents until i have the baby because she was just putting somuch stress on me and so hubby decided we woudl go to my parents until my son was born and she got so mad claming that iw as tryign to take her son away and stuff

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 12:52 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • i think your husband should be the one to speak up and stand up for you now! and save money or not- i wouldn't live with mine unless we HAD to.

    Answer by john2007 at 8:09 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

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