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2 Bumps

Do i have a good reason to be angry with my mom?

my boyfriend and i are splitting up after 4 years of living together solely because we cant not afford our bills next month and our lights will be getting turned off unless we can come up with $300 in the next week, so i asked my mom if i could move in with her temp. until i could get an apartment, and she told me that if i did my son would have to stay with his father at his other grandmothers house bc my son is very roudy and she has fragile things in her home that can be easily broken, and he wrote on her table today (hes 2) and she doesnt want him destroying her house. so im in a crisis and she is only worried about how my son will make her house messy....im a little ticked but i dont want to hold it against her. what should i do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • you don't need to break up because you can't live together. is there a light at the end of the tunnel if you get some assistance? i would rather suck it up and go get some welfare or talk to a local mission and get some help if i thought i could get it together enough to keep going the following month and keep my family together. really i get your mom's point of view even if it seems hurtful. not that you would, but many people take advantage of others who are able and willing to help, and i know of many who state they were made stronger by people telling them no. it is really hard to imagine that she would let YOU stay but not your son, though... i think my mother would take in my child and tell me to figure out what to do as an adult...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:56 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I can understand your feelings being hurt totally, but it really is her right to not want her house to be destroyed. I think I'd be mad, even if I didn't have the right to be.
    Mom_2_cuties

    Answer by Mom_2_cuties at 6:38 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I honestly can see both sides but maybe your mother can lean to baby proof if she ever wants to see her grandson. Do you have anywhere else to stay?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:38 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • *learn
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:38 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Sorry, but her house her rules. She raised her kids to adulthood, she has paid her dues.

    Does it suck that she is more concerned about her things, then your well being, but it is her house!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 6:39 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Hmm I can see her point of view to be honest. I know it seems out of order to you and I can understand feeling that way if it was me. Perhaps try to compromise with her? Explain to her that she can put anything away that she's afraid of getting broken and you will try your best at all times to keep him from breaking anything. Good luck.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 6:40 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • As much as I would like to see her point of view...as a mother I can't. It sounds like you are in somewhat of a crisis. What she should of said to you is "sure but there are some rules we need to set for the little one...I do have alot of fragile things and you're going to have to watch him more closely when you're home..and so forth...", I would never ask my child to split up from their child, specially if it's only temporary, she's the grandmother and should be more than willing to provide a roof for you and her grand baby. But that's just me...I would be hurt.

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 6:50 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • My nephew is not allowed at my mom's house because he misbehaves and destroys everything. My children are allowed in her home because they do what they are told, I have 5 kids. I dread my nephew coming to my house in the mornings because he misbehaves and screams A LOT. Are you willing to pay for everything your son destroys? Him being 2 years old is no excuse either, he would behave if you made him. My sister pays for everything in my home that her son destroys.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:51 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • well... at least she's being honest and up-front about her feelings... it is her house after all
    elizabiza

    Answer by elizabiza at 6:38 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • It's her house and it contains her things. You can't blame her for wanting to protect what she's worked hard to get. Anger is an emotion like any other, and while I understand why you would be angry with her, perhaps you can learn from this and use it to change some things in your life. If you want people to be concerned for you, you have to be concerned for them. You cannot ignore their feelings and expect them to honor yours. You could make your child aware of this early in his life so that he will not destroy property. I think your mom is perfectly within her rights to protect what is hers, and I applaud her for being so honest with you. I don't know what you should do other than to try to make the needed corrections in your child rearing.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:43 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

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