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How to cope with husband who is freaking about about baby coming

My husband has severe anxiety. When I found out I was pregnant he reacted very badly (the way he normally responds to anxiety is anger). Things calmed down but now that we are closer to the due date he is really shutting down emotionally. He is mad at me all the time, not supportive and whereas he used to always take care of business no matter if we were fighting or not lately he has refused to keep important appointments, have constructive conversations, etc. Of course somehow everything is my fault. I have tried to talk to him, message him, to no avail. I can't convince him to get help and he is now talking about divorce. How can I get through this? I know him really well, I know this is all fear-driven. This should be a happy time and it's awful.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • WOW- i am so sorry your husband is Freaking- Out! i understand, believe me- i also have Severe Anxiety & i also react the Exact same way especially, when something really Stressful is going on- it took my husband Years to understand why i would get SO Mad at him if he gets Sick or anything- He also had many sessions with my dr.- i still get Mad & Shut- Down- i don't mean to, i really can't help it- i am So much better than i used to be- The only thing i can think of with your husband is he is just Scared all the way around- Like something happening to you or the Baby- Changes are really hard for people with this high of anxiety; that is probably waying on him too- i hope that he talks to someone about this b/c regardless of what his issues are- It is not fair to you; you should be able to be Excited & he should be too! Wishing you the Best of Luck! Take Care-
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 7:40 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • You can't do for someone what they won't do for themselves. I would say that you've really done all that you can, and if he doesn't want help, then there's nothing you really can do besides continue to be loving and supportive. I hope things work out..xoxox
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 7:09 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Sound like you already have a child to take care of. He is a grown man. If he can not deal with a baby on the way. How is he going to deal with a baby here and everything that comes with that . So he want a divorce cause you are having a baby? Or is he getting cold feet? Do you think once the baby comes he will chill?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:12 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Honestly, a number of women consider divorce around now. End of pregnancy/first few weeks as parents are really stressful, and if your partner has anxiety problems it's so much worse. All I can say is, I stopped considering leaving my husband (he has anxiety problems too) around 12 weeks, and luckily I was too tired before that. Until then, you may need to call in the cavalry (friends, parents, siblings) for help when the baby comes, because you can't make him calm himself down. He needs to figure it out himself.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 7:24 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

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