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how do i get him to understand that college is just as stressful as a job if not more?

my dh gets beyond pissed at me cause im stressed. i gone 4 to 8 hrs a day at school, then homework and housework and we have 3 kids 7 down to 3. when i go to talk to him about school he says well its your stupid fault you wanted this deal with it. he went even as far as taking the wireless internet usb thing with him when he went to run errands knowin i had to go online and print off stuff for class. i was a little more than upset and he says he took it cause i spend too much time on the computer...its like how else am i suppose to do my homework, every class requires something to be done online even though its a actual class and i use the cd that came with my books to help study for exams. he was against me going to school in the first place, he doesnt believe in gettin degrees and told me to work fast food if i want a job. i have 10 mth left and job start at 12 hr. im doing this to better our life. advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I know this isn't nice, but I'd be considering what my life will be like when I leave this loser.

    Answer by SWasson at 7:31 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I thinking that he is trying to make you quit college. Don't do it! Also, for the next 10mnths I would not discuss school with him at all. This is controlling behavior and probably will not get better. I agree w/ the other ladies, fast food will keep you under his thumb forever, a good job will not. Only you can decide how to handle the situation. Message me if you need to vent.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 7:47 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Sounds like you married a real jerk. If my husband treated me that way, I'd be out the door. Your kids are learning a lot from how he treats you - so it seems to me that your choices are to stay with him and just shut your mouth and deal with it, or leave him. Because he clearly feels he has the right to treat you this way. It's borderline abusive, it really is.

    Answer by getrealmama at 7:31 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Sounds to me like he needs to grow up. If you want to go to school, that should be your perogative (sp?). He should be supportive of your decision. Him taking the internet thing is controlling you.

    Answer by victoriamom2007 at 7:33 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Oh boy! My cousin went thru this. She got her BA n became a teacher. Pissed him off mr cuz she made mr than him n worked less hrs. They eventually divorced cuz he cheated on her. She went back n got her masters n met a VERY supportive man who is now her husband.

    Answer by Vero0724 at 7:43 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • it really sounds to me like he very jealous of how far you made and is doing everything he can to put a stop to your success. sometimes my dh thinks i stress over lil shit, which i do bc i go to cosmo schoool and it's a little rough there sometimes with all the bored girls but he would never sabotage me! that's ludicris, and plain out mean.

    Answer by angevil53 at 7:48 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I know you are aware that for every hour of school, you have at least two hours of homework. How could he know not that by investing in your education, you are furthering the family? You absolutely need his support to be successful - try to work a compromise with him.

    Answer by tasches at 8:08 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • dont quit and dont give up.......

    Answer by sunflower39346 at 8:24 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • he totally understands that school is stressful, this is not the problem. he is trying to sabotage you - he is being a control freak. he is probably afraid you will leave him, that he is not good enough for you if you are growing in life and he cannot or will not. however this does not excuse him trying to fuck things up for you. if you want to save your marriage stop trying to defend your choice and make him talk to you about what is really going on and don't allow him to disrespect you when you deserve nothing but praise for trying to better yourself and your life. if you don't think he is capable of this, then see what you can do to be able to continue on your good path and get treated the way you deserve.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:47 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Yoiu know what sounds like hes jealous cause hes not as smart as you. Oh well you deserve to better your life for you and your children dont worry about it. Im in school right now and my husband is very supportive of me. And without a doubt im always telling him how much better life will be with a degree but who knows what hell do next when im done with school. Probably sit at home like he does and let me work cause thats how i like it

    Answer by apiegurl at 8:41 PM on Aug. 20, 2010