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3 Bumps

need some advice!!

me and my best friend got in some trouble about a year ago and my husband just wont let it go(i got drunk and slept with my exboyfriends brother) he says he forgives me and all that...well her 6 month old is in the hospital with 103 fever and a rash...and he wont let me go see her...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Ask him to take you to go see them at the hospital. That way he will see that you are telling the truth.

    Unfortunately, forgiving and regaining trust are two different things. If he keeps bringing it up it means that he is still hurting and fearful that it could happen again. Be completely transparent on your side and the trust will come back but it will take time.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 8:47 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • i don't like ultimatums but in this case it sounds like you might have to choose the friend or the hubby. i totally get where he is coming from even though in reality your friend didn't make you do anything she was just the person you happened to be with. it is probably easier for your husband to blame her than to blame you in order to stay in the relationship. at some point it might help to get counseling so you can take full responsibility and he can allow that to happen in an environment where you will be given tools to make sure it doesn't blow up.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:40 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • you cheated and your going to have to deal with the fact that he cant trust you yet. sounds like he doesnt want to trust you around your friend. if the tables were turned would you just trust him? probably not.
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 7:55 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I agree with cassie.We all make mistakes.Some are worse than others.Yours was,well...you know what you did.I don't think he trusts you enough,even tho he said he forgives you.Respect his wishes.And be grateful he didn't leave you when it first happened.Youv'e got a good man there.
    bvannkissy

    Answer by bvannkissy at 8:31 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • This sounds a bit vindictive to me, on his part, but maybe understandable. What might work is if he would accompany you to visit your friend, if you still want to be friends with someone whose influence encouraged you to make a serious mistake, something that may have ruined your marriage and damaged the trust and love of someone that you swore to be faithful to. But it sounds as though the two of you would benefit by couples counseling.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:41 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

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