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Help! My Husband and I fight over discipline and it is hurting our marriage

I have 2 boys but I am Divorced from my first child's Dad. My current husband, father of our 3 year old boy, makes it very difficult for me to discipline our child. My Husband is a Truck Driver and when he is away from home my son is an angel but when he comes back he just morphs into a totally different child. He does not want to sit in his car seat, screaming and kicking and I speak to him in a harsh tone and even though I don't like to, I spank him and my Husband gets mad at me and tells me so in front of our son. This is his only child and I know he feels bad that he leaves him to go to work and wants to make up for it when he gets home but his lack of discipline is hurtig our marriage, my relationship with our son and the fact that the` little one knows how much power he has over Daddy. Any suggestions or advice on how to cope with this situation? Any tips?

Answer Question

Asked by iveluz18 at 9:01 PM on Aug. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Maybe sitting down together and making a list of eachothers rules and civily discuss why each persons rule is so important to them, and what they feel would happen if it wasn't followed. A little bit of validating each others concerns can go a long way, meeting in the middle after you two understand eachothers reasons too!

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:03 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Sit dfown and let him know that hes not at home as often as you so please work with you on how you dicipline. Its better to work together than to argue about it because it only makes things worse.

    Answer by apiegurl at 9:09 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Rough. Just speak to him and explain that HIS son acts differently when he is home. Let him know that you understand how he wants to connect and make YOUR son happy, but there are limits and that he is undermining your authority as a Mom.

    Answer by 2boimommy at 10:54 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • My son is totally different with me than with me and my SO. It's amazing, the difference. His father keys him up and yells at him, I tell him to stop because sometimes it is over silly things. You and your husband shouldn't argue in front of the child. It doesn't help the situation at all. He should spend some one on one time with him, it would be good for the both of them.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:10 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Like religion, discipline is a topic to discuss before deciding to have a child. Teaching a child that hitting solves problems is a difficult concept for many people (including your spouse, and me).

    I strongly recommend couples counseling to find a compromise

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:01 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Try really hard to get this straightened out, even if you guys need to see a counsler for awhile so you can get on the same page before your kids get older & things really get out of control- My kids were 7&5 when me & my husband got married; his were 8&3- All of the kids lived with us- We have been married for 15 years now & together for 17, but i am still trying to figure out How we made it! We were SO Opposite in our Parenting Styles it was Unreal- i was pretty Hard- Core & he would let them get by with Murder! It really caused problems all the way around but especially, with my SS's- After a couple years of counseling he finally got how important it was for Rules & Consequences- When we just could not agree on something i set the Rule- i know how hard it is to be on different pages but, if i could get through it- i Promise Anyone can with alittle guidance! Hope everything works out for you!

    Answer by daisyb at 11:18 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

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