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Etiquette for giving money to grieving person?

My boyfriend's best friend lost his mom this afternoon. She had been in Hospice for quite some time. I'm friends with him too, but not as friendly as my boyfriend.

What is the etiquette when it comes to enclosing money in a sympathy card? I'm not sure where the practice of giving money to the grieivng person/family originated...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • When my Grandpa died, everyone sent money enclosed in the card. I agree with just enclosing a note that says something to the effect of wanting to help cover any immediate costs.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:26 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • IDK I would add a little note in there, with your boyfriends help. Just say it is to use as he sees fit, be it with funeral expenses or what not. When my best friend passed away a few years ago, we had a charity dinner to help raise money to pay for expenses and such.
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:19 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I've never heard of giving money in a sympathy card. Has the family asked for money to help with expenses? Even in those cases it's usually collected at a local bank or business. Otherwise I'd send flowers or make a donation to charity in the person's name - like the cancer society if they've died of cancer or some other favorite cause of theirs.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 9:21 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I've never heard of putting money in a sympathy card. We asked people to send donations to the Hospice that cared for my parents.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:25 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • When my mother died, people put money in the cards. He did not put "in lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the family" in the obituary. People must have thought it was the thing to do. She died when she was 37, leaving him with 3 children to raise.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 9:29 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Idk. When my father in law passed away people gave my mother in law money. I never asked how much, or anything (Even though we live with her. Although we did ask that instead of flowers, donations to the Hospice that had been caring for him...


    Just give what you think is fit... I haven't ever heard of anyone turning down money....... Sorry for his loss.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 9:37 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I've never heard of enclosing money. I know that when each of my grandparents died people either made donations in their memory or sent fruit baskets. I have never seen more fruit in a home in my life.

    Last year when FIL died people made donations to his favorite causes and the nursing home where he was in hospice. They also fed us.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:04 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I thought people (well, Catholics anyway), do that thru Mass Cards???
    cfh72

    Answer by cfh72 at 12:37 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • In most cases the family requests that the money be donated to a specific cause or deposited in a specific account. I've never heard of putting money in a card. I wouldn't give money in the card. Read the obit and see if any directives were given.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 2:21 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • In most cases the family requests that the money be donated to a specific cause or deposited in a specific account. I've never heard of putting money in a card. I wouldn't give money in the card. Read the obit and see if any directives were given.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 2:25 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

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