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Did your mom/relative come to help you right after birth?

I'm due in March and my mom is already talking about coming out to help me with the baby. The more I think about it, the less I want her with me in the days right after birth. My husband will be with me and my mother-in-law (who is much calmer and serene) lives only 2 miles away. I'm worried my mom's visit will be an interruption in the first few days, esp. considering that I'll be learning to breastfeed, etc. Don't get me wrong, I certainly want her there, just not right after I give birth. Has anyone else been in this situation? Am I a bad person?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (6)
  • My mom lives 700 miles away we are planing on paying her way out so she can be here but she will only be here a week then back home so to me its not that big a deal plus i have a two year old that will need entertained while I am breastfeeding and such. I would say if you dont want her there then make it clear that it is to be only you and hubby and baby the first few days home. I would not have MIL over if you are not going to have your mom though.

    Answer by lovemybabys1106 at 1:55 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I didnt have any help after my son was born, all of our family lives in michigan, and we live in alabama. But i know that i wouldnt of wanted my mom there right after the birth of my child. She gets on my nerves sometimes. i love it but after going through giving birth the last thing you want is to be bothered or whatever. i dont think you are a bad person. You dont want to be stressed out or have a house full of people after you bring the baby home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • no you're not a bad person. i feel the same way about my MIL. i had both my mom and MIL there with my son (MIL lived down the street, mom lived in another state) and i prefered my mom, cuz my MIL doesn't know what the word "no" means. like giving my son diet coke when he was 2 weeks...both hubby and i said no a thousand times, and as soon as we turned our back she did it. i happened to catch her in the act cuz i turned right when she was doing it. at the same time, she also tried to redecorate my house...needless to say she was kicked out and wasn't allowed to visit us for a while. thankfully we've moved. now with my DD, my mom came, and i told hubby that MIL was NOT allowed to come. she can see the baby when we got to visit in a few months.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I had EVERYONE over the first weekend. I had my baby on a Thursday. No body stayed with us. Just came and visited. If your mom lives far away you can ask her to come the week or two after so you can just adjust yourself.

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 1:57 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • sorry, answer was too long- my mom was here a week after the baby was born, which is what i prefered, it takes a few days to get used to a new baby in the house. just tell your mom not to come right away. tell her maybe after a week or so then she can come and visit. it could also be that she feels jealous that your MIL will get to see the baby first. some mom's are like that. so if you don't want your mom there at first, tell your MIL not to come either. that way they both see the baby together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • You might want to ask her to come after about a month. You will be incredibly tired by then and welcome her help. You'll also have a lot of things figured out so you'll know what to tell her for how to do things your way.

    Answer by Ilovepie77 at 5:23 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

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