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2 Bumps

sister in law influencing my adult kids negatively and says bad stuff 'bout me..what to do

2 of my kids that are grwon chose to live with this siter in law, because they can make money in this resort town and she is cool.. Basically much cooler than their mom! But she tells them falsities against me.. so very sad.. what should I do.. and she's very stubborn/bullheaded and never ever wrong in her opinion..

Answer Question
 
Marcia517

Asked by Marcia517 at 10:15 PM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • We cannot control how others think, act, or feel. Therefore, allowing your sister and your adult children, who are all capable of fending for themselves do so will give you some freedom. I know it hurts your feelings, and that sucks! But try to work on what you can do about it! Just speaking from experience on being bashed and talked about. Gives me a lot of peace when I remember to follow this rule!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:22 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Your adult children decided what to think your SIL didnt force them to think bad things about you. I think if they have a job at a fun place and are enjoying themselves you should just let it go. What is you SIL saying about you to your children?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:24 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • You can't control her and what she does. WHy did your kids live with her? Why did you let them?
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 11:17 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • II let my kids live there because they are over 18 and pay for their own education. i don't have money to keep them close, but the 21 year old will be back and forth every week, so she can go to class on the mainland and live with me..she has implied that I have slept with someone and planned on "doing things you don't want to think of your parents doing." it hurts me, cuz I am trying to remain chaste and wait til married again (divorced/annulled for eons.) She has led them away from the faith I have raised them with and now one is into auras, "readings", psychic, tarot type stuff that i am not into. It's like we're in a competition for these girls.. as she has no children and seems to prey on my kids.. Her brother cheated big time and it seems she wants me to look like the culprit, since I disagree strongly with her spiritual stuff (for me and my family). I feel judged and she probably does too.
    Marcia517

    Comment by Marcia517 (original poster) at 11:29 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Your children are ADULTS and will make their own decisions. You can not control what others feel or do...even your adult children. You raised them and now they have to think and do for themselves. You have to let them explore, make mistakes and learn from their mistakes.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:44 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Your children are adults and can formulate their own opinions. Your best bet is to NOT bad mouth your SIL. Just bite your tongue and know that most of the time..... falsities come out.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:01 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • have u trying sitting down with her and talking this out and if that don't work all the bad thing she said about u to your kids u have a problem with I would put her on front street what I mean by that is sit down with all of them at the same time and talk about it like adult
    tammycarr

    Answer by tammycarr at 9:55 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I try sitting down & talking w/her, and you really be very appreciative if she would stop the way she speaks about the Mother of her children being you. Find out why she feels the way she does and maybe resolve it, and talk to your kids & explain she is being very hurtful to you. Their adults, and hopefully smart enough to figure out what is and isn't true, then they will resent her for what she is saying against their Mother in the end.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 11:12 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • You do nothing. Let her be the kid to fit in and you be their parent. Just keep prayin if you put it in them then it will come back out. She's on borrowed time.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 6:27 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • bump
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 6:41 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

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