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should i contact her??

am new in the town that i live in, so one day as i was walking in park with my baby, i met this girl who was walking there too, we started talking and i found out that she is new in these area too, we lived close to each other and came to find out that we had a lot in common, so we exchanged numbers and became great friends. we would take walks , talk on the phone and everything was great. so one day a friend of mine wrote a joke on my wall on fb, i then commented with " ha ha very funny" the joke went like this.. what do u call a chinese who is terminal ill, and the answer was soon gon die. The friend from the park, saw this and did niot like it, she then commented, " not funny and very unfriendly" she then went ahead and deactivated herself from fb, i tried calling her but she wont answer my massages. do u think she is right acting the way she did? do u think that was a bad joke, n if so, shouldnt she atleast confront me ?

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ashley387

Asked by ashley387 at 1:13 AM on Aug. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (209 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • sounds like she did confront you with her facebook comment.

    sorry, but it sounds like she doesn't want to see you- probably best to leave it at that.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:16 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Is she chinese? I wouldn't have been offended over something like that nor would I stop being friends with someone because my friend thought a joke that her other friend posted was funny. I'd just let it be I suppose. If she wants to talk to you then she'll talk to you. I think it's petty but that's just me.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 1:19 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I would have been offended too, and I think if she decides to cut off contact with you, that is her right. I am guessing that the FB joke was not the first time you offended her, but it was the first time she said something. I have ended friendships from similar situations too. I don't find racist or homophobic jokes funny and I don't hang out with people who do.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 1:19 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I would leave it alone maybe she will get over it one day.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 1:23 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Some people are overly sensitive and take things waaaay too personally. I happen to think it's funny and will be posting it on my FB later! I know a lot of people that would think that is hilarious. Unless she was chinese, she's just being weird. I'd let it go for a while, but if she was that good of a friend, send her a letter and apologize that it offended her and ask her to lunch or whatever. People tend to be so touchy these days, there's no telling what offends people. If she doesn't reciprocate anything, just hope for a new friend! :) Good Luck!
    KariLyn84

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 1:32 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • @getrealmama, the funny thing i really dont find that joke racist at all, i and amy friend went to see russel peters and he was telling a joke about african names and how had they are to pronuonce, and she did not find that offensive at all. a racist joke, according to me is when u say some NEGATIVE about a particular race. making fun of a name and how the name translates to a word in english is not being a rasist. if someone can not take such a small thing then i think this person has other underlying issues that she should deal with.
    @ worriedmommy600, no she is from india, she was telling me how happy she is since she has complety no one in the US and was so glad to have found a friend like me, she would call and we would hang out everyday, we were even planning to take a trip to vegas together! thats why am sooo suprised that she would cut off just like that for such a petty thing!!
    ashley387

    Comment by ashley387 (original poster) at 1:32 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Sorry but I disagree. The joke is offensive because it pokes fun at Chinese names. And as I said before, you have probably said other things that bothered her. Just the fact that you don't see how it could be offensive shows that your level of sensitivity to these things is likely not as high as other people's. A lot of that is cultural too - not sure where you are from, but in So Cal we have many many different races and nationalities and you learn to be a little more sensitive about insulting people of different cultures. People from areas that are predominantly white are just not going to see a problem with certain jokes or statements because they don't know any better. And saying that your friend is the one with the issues, instead of trying to apologize to her for offending her, also speaks volumes about your character. Sorry, you asked so that's how I see it.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 1:46 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I do see how people could take offense to that joke, and she may have family you are unaware of that is chinese or friends, etc. If a friend of mine posted a joke that was like that I would probably get a little peeved at them too... and pending on how well or long I knew them I may discontinue the friendship or I may have just said what she said on your FB page and hoped you would apologize on your page about it. If you did, we could discuss if further about why I found it offensive, and take it as a lesson learned I hope. If you continued to act like it was no big deal when to her it was though I could see wanting to end a friendship over it.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:20 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • "Some people are overly sensitive and take things waaaay too personally. I happen to think it's funny and will be posting it on my FB later! I know a lot of people that would think that is hilarious. Unless she was chinese, she's just being weird."

    It's funny you ask if she is chinese after saying she is overly sensitive.. like it's not a big deal unless she is chinese. Sorry but if you are asking if she's chinese you can see how it could be offensive.. so why would that mean she is "overly sensitive" then?

    I wonder if some of you actually think it through all the way.. just because SHE isn't chinese doesn't mean she isn't offended by racial jokes.. op say's she's from India.. I'm sure she deals with enough racial slurs because of that.. think about it.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:24 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • @getrealmama, thanks for being frank, i wellcome all opinions and respect them, am origianally from egypt, and believ me if i took all jokes made about arabs personal, i would not have survived my 19 years in america. i understand that some people are super sensitive, but i dont think its up to me to adopt to their sensitivity by being extra carefull on what to comment or say.
    ashley387

    Comment by ashley387 (original poster) at 2:24 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

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