Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

is it just because hes a boy or can there be something wrong?

my 17 month old son is super aggressive, he smacks people in the face and when he holds something he also throws it and hits people with it. I grab his hand and say "do nice...nice" and gently run his hand across my face and hand. He was born 4 months premature and I was told that he is at a higher risk for autism, so I'm not sure if hes just aggressive because hes a boy or because it might indeed be autism. He'll probably get checked for that at his next doctors visit in a month but have any of you experienced this, are boys naturally more aggressive then girls or can this be the first sign of autism?

Answer Question

Asked by babyangelromero at 4:56 AM on Aug. 21, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 17 (4,048 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I can only tell you my children all have girls were not at all agressive, but my son definitely was...but his agression didn't show until the age of 3....I do think it would be wise to visit a pediatrician and have him tested, but, yes, it could also certainly be for other reasons of which I won't even hazard to guess.....I will say if you see any self-abuse that I would think that would be a VERY clear indication that you need to look into it even more.....err on the side of caution ! It's easier to get help now than son was 3 when diagnosed and it's been a long old road for us with the agression and self-abuse....I know this is probably hard to hear my story, and I'm not even scratching the surface here really, but IF it is Autism and not just "boy" stuff, please know that while your life will change, there are lots of positives too....and there is a tonne of support right here on CM.

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 5:19 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • At 17 months there are other signs of autism you can start looking for. Keep in mind if he was premature his milestones are going to be more along the lines of a 13 month old. A huge indicator is social interactions. You could call his behavior inappropriate social interactions but you could also call it a spirited 1 year old. As he gets older you would want to watch for lack of or seriously inappropriate interactions with peers. His speech could be an indicator as he gets older. A lot of children with Autism have a speech delay. A lot of kids with Autism are sensitive to light sound or touch, these sensory sensitivities can cause anything from agitation to a complete melt-down. It may take a few more years for you to identify or even notice these things. All in all it is good you are being sensitive to the fact that he could have Autism. You will not start to see 'true' signs of High Functioning Autism until closer

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:35 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • 3 or even 4. Your ped will help you to sort out what is 'normal' and what isn't at each of your check-ups. If there are more concerns (such as speech or motor delay) around 18 months they may do an evaluation or at least point you in the right direction for help. I didn't start questioning anything until my son was about 3. At 5 he was diagnosed with Asperger's. Looking back he was not 'normal' even as a toddler. He never played with other kids-ever. He never seeked out mine or my husbands attention or asked us to join his game. He was fearful of many things like coin rides, haircuts and water. I have to say he is the most interesting child I know! He can have horrible melt-downs or be the sweetest kid on the earth. It has it's challenges an it's amazing moments.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:41 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I would not say that agressiveness is the first sign of autism. Sometimes it is not even displayed. Other, more major indicators are speech skills and social skills. My 11 year old has autism and he used to only get agressive when he could not communicate his needs, but this didn't happen until he was about 4.
    Earlier signs (that I recognize now, but not then) would have been how he played with his toys, he lack of reaching any milestone on time, (he was only 4 weeks premature). He also had some odd repetitive behaviors and didn't interact with people well.

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:19 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I think its his age, my 20 month old started throwing toys when she was your sons age and is still doing it. My 2 1/2 yr ol is mean to people too so I dont think it is because hes a boy or because hes got autism. I believe its his age and he will grow out of it.

    Answer by hgreen83 at 11:41 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • You didn't say whether he does it when he's angry or if he does it at random. If it's out of anger then it could just be his way of getting out his frustrations. If it's at random then it could just be an exercise in cause and effect. I hit her there and she makes this face or she makes this noise. If I throw this it does that.... Either way, if he hits tell him NO, then change the circumstances (if you are holding him, put him down. If you are playing together, leave the playtime) He will likely learn that it's not a good behavior and ultimately move on from it. Good Luck.

    Answer by Krysden at 12:51 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.