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pissed off about body coments

im tired of my husband saying things about my stomach or small chest. I had a baby 4 moths ago and when im naked in front of him he makes coments about my chubby tummy. he says i need to get over it cause hes just joking and still thinks im cute.It still bothers me cause i want to feel sexy in front of him not like hes looking at my flaws right now.we argued about this last night and he says its just my self esteem issue.I wouldn't feel this way if he told me i looked good instead of pointing out my flaws. am i wrong for feeling this way and how should i react when he says "jokes"?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • i joked around with my boyfriend about my tummy too. cause i know it even looked unattractive to me. so i just tried to make a joke out it instead of getting upset. he didnt do alot cause he knew i was very self consious about it. we kinda just knew together when to laugh about it. just explain your already emotional after having a baby and pointing out flaws isnt helping. tell once in a while is fine but not a everyday thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • no, you're not wrong to feel this way. as for his jokes, i guess you should ignore them? or tell him to stop and let him know how it makes you feel. i feel bad about my body right now, cuz i just had a baby as well, but my dh doesn't joke, he makes me feel better by telling me i look good.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Start picking on him about his small/crooked/misshapen penis. Tell him you still think he's cute and you're just joking. See how funny he thinks that is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • No you are not wrong about the way you feel. He's wrong! It's not nice to joke about that. It would hurt my feeling to. He should tell you how pretty you are and not talk about your tummy or chest.
    rosie823

    Answer by rosie823 at 2:31 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • He needs a lesson on telling jokes.. telling a joke at your expense then it isn't a joke it is mean! What he is doing is rude and completely disreguarding your feelings. He may not mean what he is saying but if you don't like the comments and ask him to stop then he needs to do just that STOP and SHUT UP! His love and respect for you should outway telling a stupid lame joke!!!!!
    Tawanda74

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 2:49 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • YOUR self esteem issues are due to HIS rude comments. There's nothing funny in pointing out someone's "flaws" to them. I grew up where I was constantly told I was "chubby" or "chunky" is the word they used. It hurts so much. I agree with Tawanda, turn the tables and point out some of his "flaws" and I bet his tune will change.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 3:15 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • No because he knows it bothers you and he knows your stomach isn't looking too good after a baby so it is an insult. If he even said it was because of your low self-esteem then why is he saying it? I think it's just stupid that he knows it bothers you and he's going to argue with you about it and still say it. I know he may be joking and I understand that but I definintly understand where you are coming from too. You want him to notice the attractive things on you...and it seems as if he's just noticing the unattractive things on you. Yes Austinsmom315 is right...His rude "jokes" add on to the self-esteem and make you more self concious and worse about your appearance...He should know that. Maybe you need to let him read all these answers!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Jokes are NOT jokes when they hurt. Let him know it really hurts you. You just gave birth to a beautiful new life not to long ago. . .He needs to grow up & show you respect.
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 3:26 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Oh yea and from what I (or anyone else) knows a JOKE is something you say to make someone LAUGH....What he is doing is making fun of yu and SAYING it is a joke....Tell him to learn the definition of joking and making fun of people.....Because that is definintly making fun of you...If you are making a comment on someone's appearance or anything else about them in a rude manner it IS MAKING FUN OF THEM. If you are saying something to make them laugh and cheer them up because it is funny to THEM it is a JOKE.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • i think i may let him read these answers. He came home for lunch a little bit ago, hugged me and told me he does think im beautiful. I know im pretty thats not the issue i just wish i could make him understand how his remarks make me want to starve myself or something just to loose the weight faster, i was a size 3-5 when we got together and now im 7-9 depending on the brand so its not as if im huge!! i get told all the time that i dont even look like i had a baby ,just want to hear it from him that i still turn him on when he sees me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

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