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7yo's attitude - What can I do?

What can I do about my 7yo's snotty and disrespectful attitude? He's always backtalking and thinking he knows it all. Yesterday he was in his martial arts class and he was totally a disrepectful little brat to the instructor (instructor is fairly new and a teenager so I don't think he felt it was his place to correct it - but I would have been thrilled if he had made him do push-ups or something because of his attitude. As it is, I'm making DS apologize to him next week. DS says, "Why do you have to embarrass me by making me apologize?" *Rolls eyes)


Anyway, we take TV and computer away, he goes to bed early, sometimes gets time outs, sometimes has to write some paragraph writings on why his behavior was inappropriate, etc. The problem is - he still doesn't seem to get it. Is there anything else or better we can do or do we just keep letting him lose his privileges until he gets it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Aug. 21, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (9)
  • Make a list of expectations and consequences for not meeting them. We have a HUGE chart at home that explains how things go in our house. If they don't go the way that is expected, there are big consequences. Good luck, it happens a lot at this age.. if it gets too bad just empty his room and make him earn everything back one at a time.
    i.heart.rachel

    Answer by i.heart.rachel at 11:11 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Does he enjoy martial arts? If so, threaten him (and be sure to follow thru) with pulling him from the remainder of the classes if he continues to act like that. I was always able to nip bad/unacceptable behavior in the bud by taking away something that was important to my kids; they learned really quick and it's been a non-issue since because they know I mean business.
    FootballMom85

    Answer by FootballMom85 at 11:14 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Shut off the cable. Permanently. You don't need it. He doesn't need it. Even the seemingly harmless kids shows have quippy, rotten attitudes.

    Then, take a good look at who his role models are, and edit the ones with even the slightest attitude problems. A seven year old does not have the cognitive development to differentiate on a consistent basis between reality and fiction.

    Finally, make him do push ups every time he mouths off. (this will tie in well with his martial arts training.) About

    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:16 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Chores... Work it out of him. We make them wash trash cans, clean the toilets, anything they would hate doing.. Once they realize if they lose the attitude, and be more respectful, they don't have to do the gross stuff, they are back to how they are supposed to act,a nd treat others. I also don't wait to discipline, if you saw him misbehave, or get an attitude you should have stepped in and removed him from the situation and took him home. You have to make a fast impression or he's just going to walk all over everyone.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:18 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • When you punish a child you make the child resent you. You create a disrespectful little monster. How would you like it if your husband took computer and TV away, made you go to bed early, had to write why your behavior was inappropriate, and took away your privleges? You would resent him, disrespect him, have negative feelings about the world, ect. You might enjoy time-outs.


    Punishment seldom stops bad behavior and never teaches good behavior. It teaches kids to behave worse, sneak, lie, and treat people in authority with disrespect. The most effective parenting style is called authoritative. If you google it you can find more about it.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:19 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Right now you need practical parenting help. Your child is 7 and you have been doing these things since he was a toddler. A good book is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen. It may get it so you are communicating. Don't expect things like "I" messages to work. "I" feel embarassed when you talk to the karate instructor like that." He doesn't care about your feelings. He may be glad you are embarassed.


    There are parenting classes like Systematic Training for Effective Parenting that may be available in your community. Parents need things like classes and books because we aren't taught how to parent and we don't have good role models.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:24 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • He needs his little butt spanked, and while it should have started a long time ago, it is not too late. Disrespect and disobedience are the two spankable offenses. Get yourself a copy of SHEPHERDING A CHILD'S HEART by Tedd Tripp. Training in these areas must involve painful consequences. You are getting a late start, so expect it to be more difficult and to take longer. I'm not too sure that he would not be removed from martial arts and everything else until he has learned respect and obedience to authority. You are paying good money to have him mistreat another person, and that just is not right!!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:34 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • You're on the right track. Taking away privileges will teach him that good behavior is rewarded while bad behavior is not. Do not let him turn it around that YOU are embarrassing HIM. He embarrassed himself with his attitude and it is NOT OK. Let him know that the choices he makes affect others' reactions towards him. If he chooses to be a little stinker, he will be treated like a little stinker. Let him know that his attitude is a choice and let him see that choosing a good attitude is better. Good luck.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:36 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • bump and gl
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 9:29 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

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