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3 Bumps

Do you think I handled this okay with my son?

We were in the grocery store yesterday, at the service desk just inside the front door, and my son (7) was with me as I waited for my money order. Out of nowhere an older guy comes up and is staring at my child (from the back since DS was leaning with his chin on the counter), and comes over to me and says something like, "He's a beautiful child." Then the guy wandered away. DS is - blond hair, blue eyes - but it just seemed...odd. Now maybe he was just being a nice old man but maybe he was a perv. I don't really know. The comment wasn't odd, but the way he stared at him was. I said thank you, finished our transation and left.

I told DS in the car that if an older man ever came up to him and started running his hands through his hair (I've heard stories) or anything and it seemed weird to ask them to stop or walk away. DS knows there are "bad weirdos".

Is this enough info for DS? Would you have been wary of the guy?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Aug. 21, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (13)
  • It's a shame, but yes.

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:24 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I would tell my child to yell, get away and find someone in authority to help out.

    Answer by RoostersMom4 at 11:26 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Yes, I would have been wary of him as well. When my boy was a toddler, I can't tell you how many times I'd catch men watching him, and then watching me to see if I was watching my son. You know, those situations where your antenna goes up and you get that creepy feeling? I think it's important to teach your kids and teach them to recognize that feeling as well ... it may save them someday.

    Answer by FootballMom85 at 11:29 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • you did good mom! trust your gut

    Answer by ms_mommy_sue at 1:38 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I have struggle with this because Max my 4 yr old is soo friendly. He talks to everyone about everything. He literally did not understand what a stranger was. He would be such an easy target So I have told him that "Unless I tell him otherwise, all adults are strangers do not talk to them, do not go with them to look at something, do allow them to touch you because they might try to grab you. There are bad guys out there who don't look like bad guys - they could look like anyone. They will take you away and you will never see your house, your toys, or your family again." Kids usually think that if someone seems nice, they are nice.

    He's definitely got the message We were in the grocery store and a tall guy who was obviously a dad himself started talking to Max when he was few feet in front of me. Max started yelling "STRANGER DANGER!" The guy changed 10 shades of red, but smiled at me and said "good job, mom!"

    Answer by karamille at 4:03 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Not being there and just reading the comment I have to say no I would not have been weary. My kids, my DD in particular gets complimented and stared at all the time. She is very fair skinned with blond and curly with bright blue eyes. She to pretty to be my child. lol

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:59 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • come to think of it I wonder if that's why they stare, trying to figure out if they're adopted. ;0)

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:01 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • This is a MAJOR concern for me and my husband, since our boys have autism and are very trusting of grown ups. They do not read faces well, and I'm not certain they are conscious of their intuition or gut feelings.

    We work tirelessly with them on paying attention to our cues and facial expressions when we are talking to people they don't or might not know, and when it's okay to talk to someone--a friend of ours, and how we address those friends/neighbors--is the tone friendly and upbeat or more "serious" and formal?

    We introduce our close friends as "uncle __" or "aunt __" even though we're not related, and neighbors are "Mr ___ or Miss ___." Those are the "code titles" we use for teaching them if a stranger is really a stranger or not. If a stranger were to say "I'm your dad's friend, Fred," as opposed to "I'm you're dad's friend UNCLE Fred," they would HOPEFULLY hear the difference, and NOT walk off with them!!!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 6:16 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I think you handled it well. I would just randomly remind him periodically about "Stranger Danger", because it is a growing danger. My husband being a police officer, we try to teach out son all there is to know. One important thing is to remind them that a stranger can be ANYONE, not just someone that "LOOKS" like a bad guy.(or girl).

    Answer by beachbummommy22 at 8:26 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • we have talks about things quite a bit with strangers, but from what I get on this post I wouldnt have been wary.

    Answer by momto3infl at 11:27 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

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