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2 Bumps

How can I...

become more independent?
My husband is working and is in school fulltime and I find myself struggling to do things on my own. I know I can't demand too much of his time because of all the stuff he has on his how can I start to become more independent without the feeling of "he should be helping me"???? I basically need to be able to do EVERYTHING on my own...and right now i'm very dependent.
By the way, I have 4 kids under 4 years old. I have a mini van, but how would I handle them all by myself at the grocery store or other places without going insane?

Answer Question

Asked by CABlonde at 11:46 AM on Aug. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,134 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Independent as in sucking it up and just being the Mom and getting the job done? Or independent in sense that I don't need my husband for anything, including money? Yes there was a period of time when my husband worked and went to school, however I didn't hesitate in leaving him home alone with the kids while I did our shopping. Have you consider doing the shopping at a time where he is home and just taking 1/2 the kids with you and leaving the other 1/2 at home with him? Many stores are open 24 hours have you consider going to the store when he's home, after the kid go to bed? If one or more wake up while you are gone he should be okay to handle it. You may not be able to "ask" to much of him right now, but he should still be helping to care and raise the kids.

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 11:53 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I've been a single mom who has been married for 17 years. I somehow found a way. Try being in your position but never given any cash and get lectured if you want to go somewhere without the kids.... You need to find some other mom friends who can help you out. Grocery shop where they have a space to watch kids. My grocery store has a great sitting service! Or you could bulk shop on Sundays and have your hubby watch the kids for an hour. Just because he has so much on his plate doesn't me that you have to suffer.... he can give up a couple hours a week....


    Answer by WoodWitch at 11:56 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I dont' want to have to leave the kids with him...there really wouldn't be a time to even do that. I'd have to go to the store at midnight when I go and everyone's asleep. I want to get to the point where I am able to handle doing it all on my own.

    Comment by CABlonde (original poster) at 11:56 AM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • do you know of any reliable teenager girls... take someone with you to the store to help watch the kids while you shop

    Answer by elizabiza at 12:02 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • uneed him to help too

    Answer by san78 at 2:36 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Well you could put the older ones in preschool and then have the two younger ones when you go shopping. Ask a gf that doesn't have kids or much older ones to help you out when going into town. You could find family members to watch the two younger ones while going out with the two older ones. Teach the older ones how to help you with the younger ones. You could hire a teenager to be 2nd hands while your out or even home. I hope this helps.

    Answer by whoreallycares at 5:58 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

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