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what is controlling?

my bf has his friend over and he wants to know what u ladies think of controlling...what do you consider controlling?

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Patientchild3

Asked by Patientchild3 at 4:53 PM on Aug. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,040 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • When someone wants to tell you what to do all the time, watches over you all the time, doesn't trust you, and doesn't let you be yourself
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 4:55 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • My idea of controlling is a guy who thinks he is the boss of you and that he thinks he is the only person who should matter in your life, he tells you that you can only do what he says, when he says, he expects you to drop everything for him the second he wants something, and if you do not he has 'issues' with it.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:57 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • A couple of examples for you:

    --When your partner dictates everything you can/cannot do, such as where you can go, how long you can be there and keeps track of the mileage to see if you went somewhere else.

    --When that person tells you what you can/cannot wear.

    I'm sure other ladies will be able to have more examples.
    SpiritedWitch

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 4:58 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Controlling to me is telling me that I have to do it his way, when he want it done. Does not matter what it is. That I can not go some where, or have to be back at this time. How to dress. How to wear my hair. Controlling ever aspect of my life. and I have no say in anything.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:58 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I can give you some examples! I had a boyfriend who was very controlling and manipulative. He told me who I could and couldnt be friends with, then if I was going out to hang out with them he'd be jealous and be all sad asking why I didnt invite him, if he abused me he started bawling about how his dad used to beat him, he wasnt supportive of my individuality.....he was a genuine asshole. hence why he is the letter X lol
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 4:59 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Controlling is when he tells you where to go, what to wear, when to speak, who your friends should be, hiw to wear your hair, and how to spend your money.
    debnich501960

    Answer by debnich501960 at 5:17 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • my ex husband is controlling...he would use money to control like he would drop a pair of pants on the floor and tell me if I didn't wash them I would not get any allowance. He gave me what he wanted every friday sometimes just $60 and sometimes $80...this was for food,diapers,gas. If i didn't get out of bed fast enough in the morning he would shove me right o ff the bed.
    It is also saying when you can do something, for how long and if you didn't do things exactly there will be punishment . It is like having a demanding parent, and your the child that needs constant supervision, you are not an equal partner. They TELL you what to do and if you can go out and what you can have and not have. and hell breaks loose if you don't answer the phone or cal to check in or if your busy and won't drop what your doing for them
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 7:24 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Be aware of the way he behaves with your family and friends, especially if he interrupts them, contradicts them, or behaves dismissively. If you feel you need to apologize or explain his behavior to your family or friends, there's a problem there.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:05 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • He holds the money and the checkbook/bank card. You have to ask permission to do something. He has to go with you when you want to go somewhere. He tells you who you can and can not be friends with. He checks your emails, phone messages, IMs, etc, he tells you what you can wear and when and where. These are a few examples of controlling. Of course a woman can be just as controlling and abusive as any man.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 10:11 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • My DH lol, but I agree with an above post. Telling you who you can and cannot talk to, what you can spend money on, where you can go, who your friends are. I could go on but it would get too long.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 11:21 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

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