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Can i tell my son not to come home?

He wont go to school or get a job and he wont pay rent. I say you can live at home if you are in school full time, school half day /work half day, or work full time and pay rent. he doesnt want to do any of those things. So what do i do? It breaks my heart to see him like this he is to intelligent to do nothing!

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Asked by desperate421 at 3:18 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (7)
  • I see you posted this in the 13-17, which tells me that your son is not yet 18...which means legally you can not "kick" him out if the house yet.

    What you can do at this point (Assuming he is close to 18 - at least 17) is keep telling him that if he doesn't shape up by the time he is 18 then he is out. And make good on that promise. I agree with the options that you have laid out, they are very fair. If he doesn't like it, then when he is legally an adult, tell him he has got to go. But don't make empty threats, or he will never respect you.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:21 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • How old is he? If he is 18 then he needs to grow up and become an adult. Has he finished High School? Maybe he doesn't know what he wants to do. But he really needs to help you in some way if he is going to live in the house.

    Answer by jessicamelia83 at 3:22 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • If he doesn't want to do anything, then I wouldn't do anything FOR him.. KWIM?? Quit washing his clothes, cooking for him, etc.. Show him what its like to be an adult.. When he wants mom to do this or that, mom should just be to busy doing something else like taking care of the house or taking care of herself.. Try that for a few days and see what happens... Good luck..

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 5:34 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • My heart breaks with you. I have a son who has tried to test me. It's hard, but I completely too EVERYTHING he enjoys alway. (I heard someone go as far as even the mattress from the room WOW) Two weeks later he is alot better, but it was hard i'm not going to lie. He does what I say and doesn't fight me. He is now earning his stuff back and I know he knows I'm not PLAYING GAMES. MY house My Rules!! I love him too hug and tell him "I love you" at the same time and I do believe he knows that.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 6:08 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • He needs to go. My mom told us the same thing and my brother had to find a place when he dropped out of school. Tough love.. but he needs to learn to become a man.

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 12:37 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • How old is your son? In some states you can legally kick them out at 17, I went through this with ymy oldest and because of the choices he made and I felt he was a danger to his younger brother and sisters I kicked him out at 17. He is 21 now and getting his life on track. Sometimes we need to show them tough love.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:38 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • My family is going through this with my 17 year old brother and 18 year old sister. PM if you need to talk.

    Answer by candimariee007 at 6:25 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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