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3 Bumps

What more can I do about a son w/wife +4 kids whose stay is lasting ions due to waiting for $ ?

Been here since April. S was renting a house that foreclosed. S has only a commission job, wife, none. S iswaiting for big check. S & W taking over, getting rude about it. The 3 yr.old runs everything, I'm not allowed to discipline. W shuts me up in front of child. Every time I ask, S says soon we'll have lots of $$, then you'll be satisfied, so stop complaining. W says I should be grateful for her (cooking) help. I don't need it. I'm getting fat. I work FT w/ 2 other G kids from late daughter. Plenty of room in my big house but extremely dirty & messy. W invites teenage dtr, boyfriend, (livs w/)+18 m.o.+ 7 mo preggars to dinner w/o asking. I'm not to complain. Help!! Just want them OUT!

Answer Question
 
ubuibme

Asked by ubuibme at 6:50 PM on Aug. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Its your home, tell them that they have 30 days to find and start moving to, a new place. Your's isn't the only one in town. If they complain, pull out the old "As long as you live under my roof" speech everytime they do something that bothers you, they will be happy to go!
    jennie495

    Answer by jennie495 at 6:54 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I can't think of anything else to say but to give them a deadline and tell them they have to be out by then. You shouldn't be treated badly by your son's wife in your own home.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 6:55 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I agree... It is YOUR house and to be treated with such disrespect in your own home after helping them.... I'd be kicking to the curb tomorrow.... give them a deadline.

    WoodWitch

    Answer by WoodWitch at 7:03 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Show them the door. Tell them to use it.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 7:04 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • My sister had her pregnant sister in law move in with 5 kids and a bf. 24 hours later she kicked them out they lived in a pop up camper for months. Do you want them truely homeless? Have they applied for low income housing? Do they help with bills? You need to start becoming enough of a "crab ass" that they don't want to live with you...If you put your foot down and make them feel some tension then they will get up and start looking for something else or more work...your son and his wife can do better as far as work. And when your daughter in law gets bitchy with you, raise your voice, point your finger in her face and tell her that from now on she will no longer be rude and disrespectful, that from now on it your house and they are guests...lay down some rules and keep your back straight and your voice strong....they will never leave as long as you let them walk all over you...you need to make them uneasy about their stay.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 7:04 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I WISH I WAS ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN RIGHT ABOUT NOW, i would tell them a thing or two, i would wait right until you tell them something and wait for one of them to respond and ooohhhhhhhhhh baby it'll go down lol........Tell them they have 30 days to get the eff out not 30 to find them somewhere to go because that's not your concern and i say that because of their stinkin a** attitudes towards you .How about they take that crap to her parents house. Now look you have to stand up and let them know what's happening don't feel bad because you did try and help and even if i was your child there only so much i could do and besides no one else is going to do much if you don't try and help the situation out by letting them go, now i know you're saying to yourself i didnt ask for anyone else to help me to get them out i was just saying what i would do because i can't stand the thought of them trying to run over you, good luck
    1LovelyAngel

    Answer by 1LovelyAngel at 7:07 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Give them the suggested thirty day notice... it is their legal residence, and tell them they are OUT. you don't need the stress and aggervation. if they owe you money make sure you get it in writing....
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 7:44 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I am so sorry, it sounds like they are taking advantage of you and disrespecting you in your own home. That's so very wrong. I think it's time to tell them that they need to move or it's going to damage your relationship even further. You are helping them out, they need to be appreciative and respectful.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:06 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • If you want them out give them a deadline to get out. However, while they are living with you, make up some new family/house rules. Tell them that they are to abide by them, and if not, there will be consequences. Make them, you and a third party sign a contract about what will be done in the house. Once rules are established, either they will move out on their own or things will get better. Make sure they put money aside for bills and savings. There also has to be certain rules for the all the kids, even the 3 year old. He can't be allowed to do what he wants because his mother says so. Of course, there will be more RESPECT!! Demand it, if not they will continue to walk all over you. Like I said, they will either move out or things will get better. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:46 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I would talk to your child personally and alone and explain that while you are happy to help that is it your home and that they will all be living by your rules and that if they cannot accept that then they can happily find somewhere else to live with sixty days notice. The thing is that the young children have lost their home, obviously have a disrespectful mother and are in a very confusing situation and are probably acting out because of it. Just try to remember that you are doing it for them not for the W. If you kick them out today who knows where your grand kids would end up or if you'd even see them again due to hurt feelings. Maybe help your son find a better job. Have him figure out how much money he truly makes per an hour of work and have him figure out if he'd be better off at an hourly job making little money chances are an $8 an hr job will make more! Good luck and keep your head up! ;)
    usbornebooksdh

    Answer by usbornebooksdh at 10:51 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

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