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Is leaving him my last resort? I'm scared. Anyone in this situation?

Hey everyone, I haven't logged on in a while, but have become so distressed I don't know what to do. My hubby and I have been married almost 6 years, and I love him, but in the FULL 6 years he has NEVER held a job over 3 months. We have 2 kids (today is my little boys 2nd birthday). Both of his parents live on disability and think everyone owes them. My main concern is custody, he never watches them or taked care of them, My kids are mainly a tax return and inconvience to him. I refuse split custody, and he doesn't even know I want to leave. What do I do?


Asked by ketha04 at 4:11 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • Well if he is not holding a job and also is not being the responsible stay at home parent then some things need to be figured out. Only you hold the answer. Ask yourself these questions: Does he provide monetary income to your budget during these times that he is employed. If yes can you manage without it? If you can factor 1. Work track record does not look good for him! Are you holding a steady job? 2nd the time spent with the children. If it's little to nothing than the children will not be missing the time away. If you spend majority of time then more in your favor. When you work who will care for them these are things courts factor. As long as you have nothing to discredit you then the court will rule more in your favor. You have a difficult decision to make and I wish you the best of luck in making your decision.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • if walking out is what you want to do then do it if nothing else works but maybe he needs counseling for this my ex would do that he would get a good job and something would piss him off and he would quit and over and over again but we didnt have kids together so i dumped him but you 2 have kids but i would seriously think long and hard before walking out.

    Answer by 4lyfe56 at 4:16 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I'm kind of in the same situation. I finally left after hearing that "Kids would rather be from a split home than IN a split home." I didn't want split custody either. The judge will decide with whoever the more fit parent is. They always put the child first. But if he thinks they're an inconvienence than he probably wouldn't even care. Good Luck and Happy Birthday to your son!

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 4:17 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I got lucky. I wondered the same thing but I left and moved in with my daughter and my mom anyways. Just told him we were not working out but we could work out a schedule for our daughter to have time with her. I have never denied him seeing her...but he just never calls to see her and I dont call him either. If he wants to see her he will make the effort...Its been 2.5 years and we never hear from him except when he texts me bitching that child support enforcement took $150 bucks out of his check and now he cannot pay his bills. LOL Maybe you will get lucky if you dont make it dramatic he just wont follow up. Then take him for support and when he doesnt pay for like a year request you have sole custody of the kids.?? Just a thought..

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 4:22 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Girl, I am in the same situation except mine does work and always works. When he gets 'done' with family time he goes and works. And family time is like 5 minutes of being in the same room with us. Sometimes, it comes to those days where I tell him to go work. Let me tell you what I'm doing. I am saving as much money as I can, I have always had an open invitation to go live with my parents who live in the next state over, and when that day comes that I can't take it anymore, the kids and I are gone! It sounds like he woudln't want any custody at all by what you are saying. And I doubt they would grant him anything. I wish you all the luck in the world!

    Answer by momofana82 at 4:24 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Talk to a lawyer


    Answer by louise2 at 5:16 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Ok so I may be bitter in answering this one! But my suggestion to you is.... go get a lawyer NOW and have them file for custody and divorce IMEDIATLY!!! You will win in the long run if you are the better parent! Prove that he isnt worthy of seeing the kids and you will win! I didnt file 1st and now I am the one fighting for my child!!! And my husband was an abuser so I may have a fighting chance!!! However do what you need to do to protect those babies!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • You go talk to a lawyer, before you say anything to him. Have your end all mapped out first. Get facts before you present him with the idea...ALWAYS!

    Answer by pupmom at 5:30 PM on Oct. 8, 2008