Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to handle this . . .

My daughter is learning both English and Spanish. I also speak Spanish, but English is my native language and that is the language that I speak to her in most of the time. Well, on more than one occasion when MIL is around (they speak spanish), I have heard her correct my daughter's English with Spanish. For instance, today, FIL sneezed and my daughter looked and said "Bess you".......quickly mother in law shouts from the other side of the room "SALUD! SALUD!" I said something. I told her not to correct my daughter's English and she said "I want her to say both".............whatever, that's not how you go about it. Just a few minutes prior to that, my daughter brought me her rubby ducky and I said "Duck" and she said "Duck" .....MIL says Pato.......It's unnecessary, rude, annoying and confusing to my daughter. Why must she butt in while I'M speaking with my daughter. If she wants to talk to her in Spanish all the time

Answer Question

Asked by BridgetC140 at 11:35 PM on Aug. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 29 (37,888 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't care. That's fine and beneficial HOWEVER, don't correct my daughter when she speaks in English and DON'T butt into our conversations trying to correct OUR English. I'm so frustrated!

    Comment by BridgetC140 (original poster) at 11:36 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Talk to her & say look, I dont mind you trying to teach her, but at the same time, She needs to speak what we speak around the house, & what she'll be speaking in school. Im her mother & when Im talking to her, please stay out of it.

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 11:36 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • What language will your daughter be speaking for the most part? I would have a sit down with both you and your husband with the mother in law. Let her know that you appreciate any help given with the raising of your child. YOu want her in your childs life but this is the way things are going to be done. She can speak spanish to your child.........but she is NOT to correct you. You really need your husband her son on board if at all possible. It takes the possiblitiy of MIL taking your request as an attack. Good Luck :)

    Answer by mistynights234 at 11:39 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Well first of all, she is your daughter and you have the right to lay down the law. That being said, I talked to my kids in English, my sisters inlaws ONLY spoke spanish to them. It didn't confuse them and they now speak both languages fluently. Kids don't get confused all that much, and from my experience, it worked wonders to have them around both at the same time. BUT she shouldn't "correct" you, that is a bit messed up.

    Answer by -crunchy-mama- at 11:47 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Well, with the majority of people she will speak English and WITH ME..they think her learning Spanish is more important than English.

    Comment by BridgetC140 (original poster) at 11:47 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I don't think she is correcting her English. I think she only wants her to speak Spanish. Why else would she correct her in Spanish?
    I think you really need to have a talk with your MIL. You didn't say how old your daughter is, but I'm under the impression that she is still young enough to start saying words in English and first words don't always sound correct at first.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:57 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • It is confusing when she's speaking to me in English and MIL butts in spanish. Not just saying something in Spanish, but saying what we're saying in Spanish. She needs to stay out of my conversations with my daughter. They already act like she is theirs. They go way overboard sometimes. I have told them before to back off, but it's getting ridiculous. I think I may have to reduce visit time with Grandma since she seems to think my daughter (2 years old) should only speak Spanish. She went there last night and today when I said something about mouth, she said NO...boca. What does that tell you? She is obviously telling her NO when she says words in English. I mean, hell, if she'll do it right in front of me...she's definitely doing it when I'm not around.

    Comment by BridgetC140 (original poster) at 12:12 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • The thing is, your daughter will definitely pick up on english, this is america and your primary language in your home. There is such a small window where children are receptive to foreign languages. I would just tell her its perfectly fine to talk to her in spanish, in fact you encourage it, but do not butt into your conversation and do not tell her the english word in wrong. Tell her if she cannot stop telling her the english word is wrong, then you will not be having her over as often.

    Answer by -crunchy-mama- at 12:23 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.