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Birthday issues... me and my daughter both...

Ok... i have been with my husband for 5 years. Our daughters birthday in on the 17th it just passed and mine is on the 23rd. That is only 6 days apart but my husband does nothing for either birthday and hasn't since our daughter was born. I got a part time job just to take our daughter to chuck e cheese for her birthday because that is what she wanted. He didn't buy her a present at all... even though he could have. I guess my issue is i just don't understand, i go out of my way for his birthday to make sure that he gets what he wants but my daughter and mine is just another day to him (or so it seems). Is it wrong for me to want at least acknowledgement of the birthdays? I am having a hard time trying to figure out the answer to that one simple question... I guess i just needed to vent a little.


Asked by justduckie_mom at 11:36 PM on Aug. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,047 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • aww mama. i can understand that. birthdays are big deal. without them we wouldn't be here. maybe he doesn't know it bugs you. try calling him on it. ask him why he thinks it's ok not to celebrate. maybe it was the way things were done when he was a kid. it was for me. i swore i would be different with my kids though. birthdays dont have to be huge, just a homemade cake and some loud off key singing. maybe a cake fight and a few snaps of the camera....you could try to be subtle and ask him if he could help you make a cake for your birthday or could take your picture for your big day, anything to show him it matters to you but not make him feel guilted. i hope you get the result you want. vent whenever.....happy birthday early. best of luck to you and yours. have a great day and a good year coming up!

    Answer by candle5 at 11:42 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I do not think that it is wrong at all. I think he should respect you guys more and want to make your days special.

    Have you tried sitting down and communicating with him about the way you are feeling?

    Answer by hsmominky at 11:38 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • WHAT? what husband/father doesn't acknowledge their "loved one's" birthday? is it a religious thing? I would be PISSED if my dh didn't do SOMETHING for my birthday or at least for the kids!! and 5 years already, why haven't you talked to him about this and CHANGED it... honestly if my dh ignored my b-day for 5 years i would've left his ass already...

    Answer by DreainCO at 11:39 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Tell him how you feel and hope he responds...or tell him how you feel and stop acknowledging his birthday Men are weird. You can't expect them to know what you want. They think totally different from women. Tell him exactly what you would like. Maybe he has some deep seeded trauma from birthdays as a kid. Who knows. You can't really be upset until you've told him what you want and he blows you off anyway.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:42 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • =/ thats not right.....

    Heck I can't ever get the hubby anything for his birthday.. I dont work. & every year I at least try... I guess Im very lucky becuase my hubby always remembers my birthday.... although I normally dont get anything for V-day..... (which is fine by me.) he normally just throws everything together for me..

    but his birthday falls right after our sons, & we both try to make sure Our son gets everything.

    I wouldn't do anything for you hubbys birthday when it comes around. Give him a taste of his own doing.... See how he likes it. Dont even tell him happy birthday. Just go on about your day... if he says anything, give him this O really, Im sorry I forgot. kind of answer.

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 11:48 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • My dh did this to me once before we were married. I was a bartender, and threw MYSELF a birthday party, and didn't invite him. Came home with stacks of gifts from other men.

    Learned him right and proper.

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:41 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I have talked with him numerous times about it over the years and the answer i get varies from... i forgot to i didn't know what to get. All i want is a "happy birthday" i don't think that is too much to ask... as for our daughter... it is our daughter for goodness sake not to mention our only child. It isn't a religious thing... he just doesn't seem to take notice of it. I love him but this one thing drives me nuts every August

    Comment by justduckie_mom (original poster) at 11:45 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • I always thought that in any relationship that you should always remember the others birthdays. I don't think it's so hard. He could have least acknowledged it in some way. But when it comes to children's birthday. especially the younger ones, they know when their birthday is and to them it's a big deal. I would be hurt at the fact that he didn't remember it. It only happens one day a year. How could he not remember both birthdays considering they are so close? When his birthday rolls around do the same thing to him and see what happens.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:52 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • Sorry, but I have to say that your husband sounds like a complete CLUELESS LOSER.....

    Answer by cfh72 at 11:56 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

  • My dh and I don't do anything for our birthdays, but that's only because we agreed that the kids' birthdays are more important, so we spend the money on them (we all have summer birthdays and money gets tight by the end of the summer). With your dh though, I'd just stop doing anything for him at all for his birthday and see how he feels.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 11:58 PM on Aug. 21, 2010

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