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2 Bumps

Boyfriend's mom smokes...we don't...please help.

My boyfriend's mom is one of the nicest people. she has given us so much love and support and we really appreciate it. The only problem is she smokes...a lot. I grew up in a non-smoking home and I would really like to give the same opportunity to my child. We don't live with my boyfriends mom or anything but she lives down the street from us and we have all agreed that it will be nice to have help from her. Today I beat around the bush to bring up that I would never ask her to stop smoking in her own home, that's her decision, but I would really prefer her to not smoke in the car with the baby when the baby is born. I mentioned that it just really bothered me because it's such a small cramped area and even having the window open really doesnt help much. she got really upset with me. I feel like I'm choosing between my families health and my families happiness...please help.

 
sake1521

Asked by sake1521 at 12:46 AM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Health

Level 7 (197 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I completely understand not smoking in the car, or around the baby, but changing her shirt? Really? Wow. Just tell her that after the baby is born you don't want anyone smoking around the baby- not just her, anyone. You have no problem if she goes outside, just not right next to the baby, or in the house. I'm sure she'll be understanding!
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 2:07 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Just let her know that if she wants to spend time with her grandchild she needs to not smoke around them.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 12:48 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • If she wants to smoke she needs to not do it around your child. Not in the car, not in the house, not in the same room, not in the same vicinity... And preferably change into a clean shirt after she has smoked so baby isn't around a smoky top. GL!
    Glamourina

    Answer by Glamourina at 1:05 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I had to not accept any help from my mom because she smokes, smelled like smoke and had that pessimist smoking attitude that it was her RIGHT. Well she also earned a lot of time away from us because of that. I had to do witho ut her help, her help was not worth my babies health.

    If she smelled like smoke she had to change her clothes if she wanted to hold my son, most of the time she complied, other times she rather stink so she lost time with her only grandchild.

    Put your foot down, your the momma, you need to show that you will not budge.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:08 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I know that you do not want to upset her or hurt her feelings but honestly your Child has to be the most important. Just explain to her that it's not her smoking that you have a problem with and that you are not judging her for it. Explain that your concern comes from your Child. You just don't really want ANYONE smoking around your Child. I am sure if it is done in a respectful way that she will understand. If she doesnt, then you still have to realize that you are doing the right thing for your Child and she will eventually come around.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 12:53 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

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