Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My 4 year old.. curious or a serious issue?

ok so my 4 year old son is either very curious or just rude. He has been very interested in the human anatomy.
Lately he has been putting his hand down my shirt, the back of my pants, sticking his finger in peoples behind and licking me (arms and ears)
He recently asked my MIL if he could see her boobies.
He started grabbing himself. and points out when his sister is naked. (he walks in on her)
We have been trying to correct him and talk to him about privacy and he seems to know what he is doing is wrong.
Curiosity or should i really be concerned?

it's not just me, a couple people have told me something... and frankly it's pretty embarassing.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:39 AM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (10)
  • My son has an obsession with boobs right now, especially mine! He's 3, and he's always touching them. It's embarrassing, I agree! (He even pointed out that a woman at the store had large boobs, and then proceeded to shout "I like your boobs!" at her.) I'm hoping it's just a phase. I've explained to him why it's not appropriate, and it seemed to help a little. I've been putting him in time out when he touches me inappropriately.

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 2:42 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Since he seems to know it's wrong I think he is probably more or less testing you to see what will happen if he crosses boundaries. Being 4 years old, he probably knows more about the human anatomy than you may think. He's probably figured it out by now. Talking to him about his body parts and explaining what boys have and what girls have and briefly about what they do and how they work and then talking to him about how privacy is very important and he needs to respect that about others. Find a way to punish him for making rude comments or walking in on his sister and such. Maybe if he has an allowance, take 25 cents off for every time he says something 50 cents for when he walks in on his sister. Make sure he knows that some things are worse than others when it comes to privacy. Good luck! I hope that helps!

    Answer by sake1521 at 2:47 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Well i had to fell out a questionare for my 3year old son pre-S...and one of the question asked me if my son was show any sexual suggestions...and i had to re-read the question...honest i was shocked...but apparently at that age is when they start to get curious..

    Answer by TezMoM at 2:49 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • There is a study in psychology where human sexuality/curiosity of anatomy begins, which is right around pre school age. If they have parents of the opposite sex around, or even siblings, they get curious about why they have or don't have certain parts. Natural curiosity, in my lil sisters preschool their baby dolls had replica genitals, and the little girls were so fascinated by the boy baby dolls. They would run up and say "This is a boy because him has a Penis." LOL it was cute, caught me off guard at first, but the teachers are aware of curiosity and this was an easy way.

    This may be a good time to explain why they are different, and why we call them private parts.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 2:50 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • on second thought...taking allowance away is a bad example...he needs a "right now" punishment because when kids are younger a lot of times they wont understand why you are punishing them later for something they did earlier. Time outs are good, or if you are in public, leaving the store right away and going home.

    Answer by sake1521 at 2:50 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • bump

    Answer by san78 at 9:22 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I think he is just curious, but he does need to know boundries. My 4 year old daughter will walk in on me and ask questions. She asked me If she was going to have boobies like mine, and so on. She also tries to touch them, but I tell her no and say that is my privates and you can't touch them. I told her that you don't do that to people, and she's pretty respectful of that. A lot of the time she is trying to joke and I still tell her that is not appropriate. If you tell him to stop and he doesn't put him in time out. After explain to him that it's ok to ask questions, but it is NOT ok to touch. Hope this helps

    Answer by mantamoo at 9:52 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Read up on Freud's Oedipal complex!! It's all perfectly normal, but your son needs to learn boundaries!! :o)

    Here's a simple text version--without getting all psychoanalytical! LOL


    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:55 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • i dont think nuthin is wrong with just have to tell him he cant be touchin and lickin on people like that and stop walkin in on his sista.

    Answer by mekarevell at 11:27 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • My kids will be 4 in a week and they have been doing those same things since they were 3. But has gotten progressively worse. I don't punish them for some of the behavior because it is them being curious. Like when the boys are exploring their parts, I will tell them that those are private and no one else wants to see them do that. I tell them they can go in their room and do it in private. One of my sons is in the licking stage. He wants to lick everyone. But he thinks it is funny, so when I give him two warnings to stop and he doesn't he will get a time out. My other son has started poking people in the butt, even random people. So embaressing. So after two warnings he will go in time out. I just try to differentiate between curious behavior and naughty and go from there. I guess there is no "right" answer, we just try to do our best!

    Answer by tripletmommy806 at 12:22 PM on Aug. 24, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.