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2 Bumps

My son is starting to like girls. Advice?

Middle Schooler. Been telling him not to let himself play doormat to a pretty face and that a lot of ugly personalities can have pretty wrappers.

He's always veery polite to young ladies his age, I'll give him that. Its pretty cute to watch, but he gets embarrassed if he catches me smiling at him afterwards lol.

 
Zoeyis

Asked by Zoeyis at 7:52 AM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • You might begin explaining the differences between boys and girls at this age. The girls are looking for a boyfriend, since having one in middle school is a status symbol. Boys are just interested in seeing what it is all about, but are still embarrassed about it. Tell him that the girl he decides he likes is not the only girl he will like, that there will be plenty more - some will like him back, some will not. You should also have a discussion with him about "breaking up" - how one of them will get his or her feelings hurt, that they will get over it, but if he is the one breaking up with a girl, help him understand that he needs to do it gently.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 8:02 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Make sure you clearly explain your expectations regarding girls to him early. About how far you want him to go with girls at this age.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 8:03 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • If you havent already....its time to start talking about sex....and KEEP talking...even if he blushes or tells you to stop and leave him alone.

    They still have ears listening EVEN if they are embarrassed :)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:59 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Same here. We have always had the rules that no girls are allowed in their rooms. And also set up some dating guidelines like not til 15/16 and then it will be a group thing. My guys like that as it lets them look at girls but does't "allow" them to do more than be friends. Reality is they want to look but not touch. I have 2 tween boys 11 and 12. Also, our podunk town has a very high early pregnancy rate (like 13) so these guidelines will let them avoid this situation.
    I also make my guys be home from school by 3 as well, they carry cell phones so I can track them whenever I want.
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 8:04 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Well, there isnt anything you can do about him liking them! But maybe make it easier on him. At the beginning of this school year let him pick out his clothes and such. I'm sure he will pick what he thinks girls like :)


    Make sure niether of you are making fun of him but if you give advice thats nice. Hearing that his father remembers his first crush at that age might even make him feel more normal about it.

    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 12:19 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • And I agree with older about the sex talk.


    That's mommy territory right there! I would leave a book about it with him in case he is too embarassed to ask his parents questions. You dont want him asking his friends!

    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 12:21 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I gave my boys a book to read, told them if they didn't read it I'd read it to them.
    We also talk about a lot of things, relationships and how girls are to start with them. I want them to know that at this age, girls are very vulnerable to relationships, its a status thing and girls tend to want expect a lot more out of a boyfriend sometimes than necessary at this age. That its important to stay focused and enjoy their time with friends, and there is plenty of time dating later.
    Both my boys are really nice to the girls, we have girls calling them all the time, texting, facebooking, at my front door. Its cute but at the same time we talk about all those things.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:59 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • My 12 yr old son is starting to get interested in girls too and I'm not too thrilled with it but my little man is growing up. I'm just not sure how I should handle it with him because he also gets shy when I bring the subject up. It was so much easier with my girls on dating matters.
    my3babes

    Answer by my3babes at 6:31 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • hoo boy. I'll let dad to talk to him about sex, it'll be easier coming from another guy and he's not as sassy with his dad, either.
    Zoeyis

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 9:02 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Hey, if you let dad do it, if he is anything like most men he will say, score as many times as possible, etc, etc. but be careful wear a condom, if you talk you will teach him about safety and sensitivity towards women, I always told my son not to ever do anything to a young lady he would not like his father to do to his mother, to always think of his two older sisters and how he would like others to treat them.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:56 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

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