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2 Bumps

Do you believe in killing someone with kindness?

I have a sibling I see maybe once a year and although we're friendly to each other face-to-face we don't ever communicate the rest of the yr. I have reached out many times, but never get any feedback. We have no anomosity towards each other, my brother just isn't a social person.

I keep acknowledging his Bday, he never does for mine. Should I keep doing this or just stop trying until he's ready? I was tempted to overlook his Bday this yr since he doesn't seem interested in talking to me unless we're face to face. He lives very far away.


Asked by Zoeyis at 9:52 AM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Me and my brothers are the same way, they do nothing for me and I do nothing for them. I've called them and what all and never get a returned call. So it's turned into whatever for me, why put the effort in when they show absolutely no signs of being thankful for it.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 10:01 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I truly believe this, I don't acknowledge my loved ones special day expecting them to do the same, keep on doing it regardless, it is a way to stay connected.

    Answer by older at 10:03 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I see nothing wrong with sending a birthday card every year. But I wouldn't go out of my way to keep calling or writing if I am not getting any responses. I think eventually he will look back and appreciate that you remembered him and acknowledged his day every year. If he doesn't.. well, then he is a very strange breed!

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 10:02 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • bumped ya

    Answer by older at 10:04 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Killing anyone with kindness always works best. I also don't recognize birthdays in order for them to recognize mine. I would keep sending him cards, emails or however you contact him on his birthday. Obviously, you are the sweeter person. Don't stop being sweet just because they don't recognize you. Stay the better person.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:22 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • "Kill 'em with kindness" is one of the big lessons I remember my daddy teaching me all throughout my childhood and teen years. It doesn't hurt anything and doesn't take a tremendous amount of effort to pick up a card, sign your name and pop it in the mail. Who knows...due to his lack of being social, you may be the only one who sends him a card at all.

    Answer by hepmommy at 10:25 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I've tried killing my brother with kindness ever since he married his wife but I never get any response back. I've tried killing my sister in law with kindness with no response. I've given up wasting my cell phone minutes and sending cards and all.

    Answer by jilligan362 at 10:29 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • me personally i would have tried for a lil bit then gave up .no need for you to keep reaching out if he does not want to .a relationship is 2 ways not one .sorry u guys are like this it kinda sucks .have you and him ever sat down and taked about this with each other

    Answer by britme1027 at 10:39 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I would just keep sending the card, at least you are letting him know that you are remembering his birthday every year. But i wouldn't call him. If he wants anything to do with you, let him come forward.

    Answer by Honda309 at 5:50 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I'd keep sending the birthday card. It's a nice thing to do.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:15 AM on Aug. 22, 2010