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for all those single mothers that recieve child support what is your visitation schedule like? did you go to court to settle things?

i am going to be going through this soon. or so he says he is filing for visitations especially overnights. but he is only doint it because i filed for child support because he wouldn;t get off my back about over nights. now she is 17months old and it took him this long to bring this up. i never denied him visitations. he is out of state. i tell him every time i going to his state. and he has visited here plenty of times. there were months that he did not see her. just curious what everyones experiences was in court. i consulted a lawyer and he agreed to just have him visit in my home considering i do not have pysical or legal custody yet.

let me add she does not know him. screams and cries. i just want it to be more gradual the transition. he is just being selfish.

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Asked by lambdarose at 11:02 AM on Aug. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,088 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • It sounds to me like he wants to be a father. Visitation and child support are 2 separate issues. You have to learn to keep it that way. If he doesn't pay and it's through the court, they will handle it. If he doesn't see her, or wants to, whatever is in the visitation schedule is what you go by. If he misses his time then it's up to you to change the schedule. For instance, I have Sole physical custody, and my ex has visitation, the 1st and 3rd weekend every month. Granted I waited until they were a bit older to divorce so they wouldn't be babies going to visit him. You need an attorney to put it all in writing, and then you have covered yourself in case he decides not to abide by the schedule. You have legal custody of her, she lives with you, that's her physical residence. If he doesn't live with you then he doesn't have any legal right to take her without your permission. Please see an attorney and get it in writing.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:10 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • When my little guy was about five months old, hubby & I broke up. I started the vists the very week I left him.... but thats me. I wanted John to know his father, he went very weekend, (Daddy still lived in my town) he'd get him every thursday night & Brought him back to me every Sunday afternoon. We didnt go through courts or anything like that. Not even for childsupport. I was very lucky that Hubby was that way...

    Only thing I can tell you is to call your lawyer..... Who has custody... Thats major factor. Because when a child is born in some states neither the mother or the father have custody (sp).

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 11:13 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • No visitation used. The "father" chose not to have anything to do with my son all his life. Child support and custody/visitation are 2 different issues. I say, if the father wants to be a father then let him. Do everything through the courts to protect ALL parties involved. NEVER do any of this without it being documented in court. The courts will help set minimum visitation, but you can always allow extra time if that is what the child wants. Always do what is best for the child, not what you want or to be spiteful. It can backfire, bigtime.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:21 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • exh & I went through court ordered mediation. We live in the same county, visitation was order as such- I have primary custody, he gets her every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday afternoon & one night a week for up to 4 hours. He pays over $1200 per month in child support.

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 2:29 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

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