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how long do you wait?

How long do you wait for your husband to be the husband you know he can be before you give up and leave?
What if his issues stem from childhood. Wil he ever change? Or is the negative to ingrained in his personality for a true change?

How long do you fight before you decide you deserve better?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • uhm, kinda vague (for me) We don't have his side or know anything about you guys and your lives to make an educated answer.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 11:34 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • you can't change anyone unless they want to change. You can only change yourself. If you have tried everything to fix your marriage & none of it worked, then it's time to think about leaving. I fought only for a few years before i realized that he loved his shitty character & did not think he needed to change.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:35 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Well, I guess that depends on the situation. What is he not doing that you think he should be doing? Is it something major? or is it just minor things?
    Courtney610

    Answer by Courtney610 at 11:37 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I know what you are talking about... I did it for 6 years w/my S.O. and it ended horribly. I don't know about the married part cause we never were. I am now married and very happy, make sure whatever choice you make is in the best interest of you and your child(ren)
    agriffinmom4

    Answer by agriffinmom4 at 11:37 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • It depends on how bad the situation is.
    HisLove18

    Answer by HisLove18 at 11:40 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I can say for me it was ten years I know its not going to happen.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:40 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • His biggest issue is lying. From porn to how much he has in his wallet. Its ridiculous. I find myself doubting just about everything he says to me. This has been going on about 4 years.
    Also, when we fight he is kinda violent. NOT towards me or my son, but to himself and objects.

    Amongst this bad, he is a great father. He attends to ALL ours sons needs. He provides for us and isn't selfish with his money (I'm a sahm).

    I'm just so confused.

    He was basically raised that lying is a-ok. And he was beat sometimes by his father, so I wonder if this is where the self abuse came from?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:43 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I think he sounds like he can make a turn around, but first he needs to see that for himself and get help. Those kinds of problems are psychological, you guys can't do it alone. It may come to the point where you have to leave to show him you are serious about him getting a handle on things.

    Jessica157

    Answer by Jessica157 at 11:48 AM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • How long do you wait for your husband to be the husband you know he can be before you give up and leave?
    You don't marry a man unless he will be the husband you want him to be.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 12:05 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I gave my ex 4 years. He had sever insecurities from childhood. He wasn't willing to change and I as sick of his BS. If I didn't have sex with him every single day I didn't love him. That included 24 hours after giving birth. There was no other way to express my love for him. He actually made it easy on me and he left. By that time I don't think I loved him anymore. I was just sick of the crap.
    kerijeanbean

    Answer by kerijeanbean at 12:10 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

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