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Would you worry?

My friend and her husband were arguing the other day. It started because she was changing a diaper and needed a wipe. She yelled for her older kid to get a wipe. He husband then proceeded to smack her [hard] in the head for yelling at the child.

This turned into a huge fight and she said that at one point her came up behind her and was choking her and said ' This is how chris benwa killed his family'.

She obviously freaked out then, and is convinced he has lost his mind and may be over the edge. She has limited resources with broken car and is a SAHM, he controls everything.

He also said at some point....that it would be better for the older kid to just be massacred rather than yelled at.

WTF? I'm convinced he's nuts and she needs to leave. She thinks that he would go after her other family if she did. She thinks he needs a therapist.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Do you have the resources to pick her and the kids up??? I would and have her tell him that she is somewhere else.... tell him that she thinks he needs a little time by himself to calm down. after that there should be no contact with him for a few days.... really let him cool off. then you, her, your hubby, and maybe an officer, go and talk to him once he has had a chance to calm down.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I'm not sure what the question is here. Would you worry? Umm obviously I would worry if that were one of my friends. But if she is convinced he is fine and just needs counseling then there is nothing you can do. She is the one that has to leave and if she won't, then that's her deal. All you can do is be a friend to her.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:36 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • If she want to leave she will weather she has the money or not.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:40 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • she thinks he needs therapy! um yeah i don't think i know. she really got herself into a mess. i don't know how people get here but either way i don't know of any resources but she should of called the cops or you should at least alert them to this. should anything happen then they will a least a good suspect and a history of abuse. she should get a hold of his bank cards and one day pack up and clear out the account. it's common property and she would not be charged for theft. she should just go to her relative that he can't get to so easily. like maybe one out of state before she or her kids end up dead. she shouldn't of yelled at the kid by the way. she should apologize to the child cause now he will feel it was all his fault that everything has happened.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 7:03 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • what kind of friend are you????
    are you close???
    if so grab her the kids and go someplace safe
    god takes care of bad people himself let him rot in hell
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Therapy? There is IMMINENT DANGER to her and her children with that individual in the home. I suggest she take herself and those children to the nearest safe place and report him, file a restraining order and get on with her life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I've been in abusive relationship & know it's hard & scary 2 leave expecially when he contol the $ & transportation as well as every & anything else. But yes u should b worried bc if he's capable of what he's already done & said 2 her, what else is he capable of. As far as being her friend, whether ur close or not, she needs ur help bc sumx women don't leave bc they don't have ne1 b it friends or family & they feel alone. But 4 her 2 say she needs a therapist is a good sign that she knows somethings wrong & that she has 2 & is willing 2 do something 2 protect her baby & herself. There r many resource 4 domestic violence (look on the net) but u being there 4 her is a great start!!!!!
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 7:26 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I don't think therapy is going to help him. He's making some pretty serious threats, in my book. If it were me, I'd be getting my kids and getting the hell out of there as fast as I could. Yes, I definitely think you should worry. I think you should tell her you are worried, and help her find a way out. Check on any women's shelters in your area, find someone who would be willing to take her and the kids in for a while if you aren't able to. If she really thinks therapy will help him, I think she's in denial and you need to help snap her out of it. I hope she gets herself and the kids out before he does something horrible.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:27 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • she needs to leave and not tell him where shes at, who knows this probably isn't the first time hes done this.
    marykaysauer

    Answer by marykaysauer at 7:36 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Go get her and the kids now... tell her dont look back. He has threatened her life at this point and she can get a restraining order... The police can help when he has threatened her life. I find it hard to believe this behavior just came up out of nowhere... Good luck!
    LovinMyMikayla

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 8:07 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

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