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what is your honest opinion of this?

I am a sahm with our toddler and cat, i do online college but other than that..im pretty much a hermit. I dont go out, I dont have any friends (we move a lot being military) my only friends are in this box (computer) I dont do anything for myself, and although I am fine with this cause I believe being a sahm is good for the kid, some ppl have told me i should get a PT job and have her in daycare a few hrs a week cause I am starting to get a lil bit of "cabin fever" , but im worried it will be bad for the baby and honestly...im scared to put her in daycare even one hour. i feel like if i do this for myself, im being a bad mommy to her???

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moki1984

Asked by moki1984 at 5:30 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 11 (573 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • You're not a bad mommy. I do wonder how you don't get cabin-fever though. I am also a SAHM to a 32 month old. We are out and about going to storytime at the library, gymnastics at the YMCA, Parents Day Out, etc. But that is partly MY personality. I like to see people and interact in person.

    The only thing I would say is that you should start introducing your toddler to other kids through playgroups so the child will be a well-adjusted bigger kid. You don't want him/her to be scared when it is time to go to school. I have a ton of ideas for how SAHMs can meet other SAHMs and kiddos, so if you want to know more, just message me!

    You're not a bad mommy, it just sounds like your personality. But maybe for your child's sake, you should start getting a bit more social. =)
    mmw1053

    Answer by mmw1053 at 5:36 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • WE DO take the kid out to the local play area, swimming classes etc. and thats rewarding as a mommy and she enjoys it but i have not walked away with one friend from any of those , when i say hermit i dont mean i NEVER leave the house. but the family days like that, i cant always do them...we have one car and he usually goes to work at 530 so majority of the time we can talk walks around the neighborhood but we cant go anywhere unless its a weekend . and no i cant just atke the car everyday, he has to drive around sometimes for his job. we tried that...he called me 6x that day to drive him somewhere
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 5:39 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • im the same way i have a 21 month and a 2 month old and i dont know anyone in my town i stay home ...... i was going to find a part time job but the hours i wanted werent very good... so i started going to the libary andd found out that they have reading groups for kids not in school and that is fun we do it every monday and its something to look forward too also in my town they do parents teachers ( through the school) its where someone comes in you home and dose fun stuff with the kids and every month they have a play group so that will be good then they are around kids there own age and i will get to meet other moms and maybe even makes a few friends
    klinemom2

    Answer by klinemom2 at 5:41 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • We do Parents As Teachers too and I LOVE it!!! They are a great resource for playgroups (ours has 2 per week) and they can tell you of other kid-friendly things to do in town also.

    Do you live on a military base? Are there any family support group type of things there? (I'm not very familiar with the military) Maybe there are other mommas you could schedule playdates with?

    Have you ever been to MeetUp.com? That's where I found one of the playgroups we are in. Maybe you could host a playdate and then you wouldn't have to drive anywhere.

    Just some ideas. Good luck! =)
    mmw1053

    Answer by mmw1053 at 5:44 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I was a single mom with my first and she went to daycare. She is fine. I stayed home with my other 2 and one just started pre-K and is doing great and i still have a 2 1/2 year old at home with me. I never leave my house if I don't have to. I would rather have a ton of people here then have to pack up my kids and go somewhere. I have always been a herm. Well anytime you need to go out for something give me a call. I won't go anywhere by myself. My husband hates it cause I hate shopping alone. I have a few friends but most have jobs. I guess I am a bad mom cause I don't really do much out during the week with my daughter. Once in a blue moon if my hubby is around I will take her to the local park. I avoid base as much as possible. I like my little town. All I know with all I do and all I don't do with my kids they are all good kids well adjusted and happy. A happy mom helps make a happy kid!

    jessym_17508

    Answer by jessym_17508 at 5:53 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I believe a mother's place is home with her child. My mom keeps telling me that I should get a PT job a couple nights a week, but I don't want to. It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I'm the one that should be taking care of my child. Nobody can give your child the love and attention that you can! I would highly suggest getting out and doing fun things with your LO, even if it's just going to the park. You could even do more fun things at home like art projects or cranking the radio and dancing together. There's things you can do to avoid "cabin fever" that don't have to cost a lot of money! I hope this helps!
    autumns_mommy07

    Answer by autumns_mommy07 at 6:00 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Working and having your child in daycare would not be worth it a partime job and paying daycare what is the point. Just enjoy your time with the baby and kitty and the box it will soon all be gone before you know it cherish the moments. As the child grows and goes to school you will be able to find a full or part time job (If you want to.) Do what is easy for you don't listen to negative things.
    Good Luck and enjoy being a SAHM.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 7:18 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I am a SAHM to three. I would never put my children in daycare. I like to be at home. You are not a bad mother because of this. If you have a strong enough family there is no need for friends. I have one friend and that is my husband. I look at it this was if there is something I cannot talk to him or my sister about I probably should not be thinking about it.
    GFXMommy

    Answer by GFXMommy at 7:29 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • theres a never-ending battle between SAHM and Working moms, right now im in school part-time and then with my son the rest of the day, but looking for a job cuz we need the money. it just depends on your personality, as said before, neither is wrong or right, just be safe if you choose to put the child in daycare and make sure youre happy cuz its true, happy mom is a happy child!
    JathonsMomma18

    Answer by JathonsMomma18 at 7:39 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • It's great that you're SAHM, but you and your toddler need "people time". It's good for you to talk with other adults and it's good for your toddler to interact with other kids as well as adults. How about trips to the park and other places that will not only help your child socially, but give her a chance to experience new things. One thing I remember is craving other adults to talk to. If you can afford to not work, don't. And, there's plenty of time for day care...instead check into a mother's day out program for that ME TIME.
    WD40

    Answer by WD40 at 8:05 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

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