Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

needs some advice

I have been married 12 years have a 10 yearold and a 8 yearold. husband thinks highly of the 8 yearold treats the 10 yearold crappy. even throws things at everyone and screams when he doesn't get his way. he lost his job over his own driving record but blamed it on me. I also think i may be pregnant again which i hope not but if i am i will raise my child and love it. i have no income , have depression and take care of my mom, his nephew and him and his dad. I want out but i want to take my kids. am i being selfish? is there a way to go and find a place and get help to get a job. Or should i just stay for the kids sake. they cry they don't want to lose their dad but oldest complains how mean he is to her. Any Advice is helpful thanks


Asked by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would get out. There are plenty of shelters that may seem drastic but they are free housing, food, laundry etc. Most provide transportation to school and it is a safe place. They help you find housing and employment and if necessary child care. I have been to them before cause of my ex and they are not as bad as you would think. If you want what is best for your children do this. Also you have to get a emergency custody order and if you must a restraining order. You have to be ready to put your children through this as well so be prepared!

    Answer by agriffinmom4 at 12:45 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I don't know about places to go for help but I would say this is not the greatest situation for your children to be in. So staying for the kids doesn't sound so great for them. They don't have to lose their dad completely though even if you leave him, they can still visit with him and such. Hopefully you can avoid a huge custody battle by saying from the start that you don't want to keep him away completely.

    Good luck.

    Answer by mrspierce06 at 12:42 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • You are not being selfish. If you want out then take your kids. Once you leave go file for child support that way they will put you as the custodial parent. See if you can stay with family or a friend for a while. Go to your child's school and put it where only you can pick them up.

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 12:43 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • The one kid will have to get over it because the other one is suffering greatly for being treated like crap she is going to end up in her own reckless relationships because of the crappy treatment by need to go to a shelter anything or nothing is better then what you have now. Go and tell yourself you are doing the best thing and are not being selffish. No wonder you are depressed. Once you have dug yourself out of the hole your in you will look back and feel good about yourself for moving on and your kids will see your strength one day down the line when they are older.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:49 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • There are shelters you can go to. Temp agencies for work. Just apply everywhere you can.
    If you want out, then you need to get out.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:04 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • the shelter would be my last resort. do you have any family you can go live with till your able to find employment? i would not stay and allow myself OR my child to be mistreated. i dont see your home situation improving until YOU take measures to change them. the depression is probably due to your home/living situation and will get better when you get OUT! prayers sent to you and your kids.

    Answer by lillie70 at 2:12 PM on Aug. 22, 2010