Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Would this bother you if your mother in law always steps in with you are telling your 3 years old no and she says yea?

Answer Question
 
TylersMOMMA2006

Asked by TylersMOMMA2006 at 1:39 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • yeah, that doesn't happen.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 1:41 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • YES!! My MIL, and husband do this to me frequently. :/ It is very frustrating!
    Do you spend a lot of time with your in laws? We do and it is hard to define boundaries when they are not respected.
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 1:41 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • yes it does...a lot...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:43 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • i would talk to her privately and say she got her turn to be the mom and now it's your turn and you need her to repsect your authority as the mother otherwise it creates mixed signals
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 1:43 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Next time she does it, look at your child and repeat "NO" then go on to say... "I'm your mother and what I say goes." Maybe your MIL will get the "hint".
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 1:46 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Yes it would. No one should undermine your decisions, if they disagree, they should talk to you in private. I'd be telling her to butt out and I really would tell her that. That to me is very disrespectful.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 1:49 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • You are the Mom, you trump grandma.

    I would sit her down and calmly tell her that she has to stop overstepping her boundaries. You are Mom, you get the final say, and she needs to respect your decisions. But of course, pick your battles. If it's just for something small, you might want to give in. If it's something that you really feel strongly about, definitely pull out the Mom card. I already know that I'll have to really put my foot down with my parents when my son gets older.

    She probably means well, but she is not the parent. She just needs to have that explained to her and support your decisions more often. Definitely have a talk with her. Good luck!
    kathria

    Answer by kathria at 1:50 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • My MIL doesn't do it, but when I'm disciplining my boys my BIL's will step in (they are always over, one lives with us) and I feel like it's teaching my boys, "You don't have to listen to your mother or females, but you have to listen to men." My almost three year old told me, "I only have to if Daddy or Josh say so!" That was met with an "Oh Really, lets see how you like the corner then." When my BIL tried to step in to 'help' force my son to stay in the corner, I told him, "NO, I've got this, that's the problem, ya'll try to help but it just teaches him he doesn't have to listen to me!" he's backed off since then.
    truthrowan

    Answer by truthrowan at 2:04 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Yes, we went through the same thing with my MIL when she kept the girls when they were younger. Finally I told her that either she stopped cold turkey or she wouldn't be keeping the girls as much. It worked for a while, but when she started in again the girls stopped visiting nearly as much without me or hubby there. We also went through all kinds of junk with her wanting the girls through the summer since they aren't in school. She bothers the girls almost as much as she bothers me (no one likes to be told everything they are doing is wrong) and they don't go visit unless we go as a family. You might let MIL know that her actions will eventually push the kids away from her.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 2:24 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • This would bother me extremely! I had this same problem only when my oldest was younger, infant. Until I got into it big time with my mother in law and ever since she has been much better.
    mamasbboy

    Answer by mamasbboy at 2:50 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN