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My daughter turns 4 next week, and thinks she run the roost. No matter what I do I can not get her to listen to anything I say! My husband and I don't know what to do. I am also expecting my second child soon, and am worried that my first one will not take to a new baby very well. How can I get her to listen to what I say?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Jun. 30, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • Have patience with your little girl.She can sence that something is about to happen.Just remeber to give her time with you away from the new baby so she still gets mommy time.Good luck.

    Answer by SUPERMOM. at 9:42 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • I have a 4 yr old and I feel your pain! We have a new baby in our house too and even though he loves his little baby 'bruder', I can see how this change is causing him to act out at times. He doesn't listen the first 3 times I tell him to do something (or to NOT do something) and I feel like I'm always on his case-getting after him and such. I also felt like I didn't spend enough time with him and that is probably what is contributing to this behavior. So I definitely suggest making sure to fit that time in...have hubby take care of the baby for a bit and spend it with your older 'baby'! I started to really make an effort to find time and did so yesterday when hubby was off from work so he could care for the little guy for a bit and my oldest and I played with his Legos and he just loved it and didn't act like the crazy kid he's been these past few months!

    Answer by isabel21 at 9:57 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • I think you're kidding yourself. You have a lack of discipline problem. The rivalry that is forthcoming with the new baby has little to nothing to do with it right now. The 4 year old is out of control because you allow it. Inconsistantcy breeds contempt in children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • The best thing you can do right now is to do a little research. Especially with your first child, it's such a learning process to know how to handle each stage of their life. I suggest going to the book store and buying a parenting book. There are professionals out there with really great advice about how to handle situations with our kids that really do work. If what you're currently doing isn't changing her behaivor, why not try something new? I have read Picking Your Battles, and it helped me a lot. We may be the "grown ups", but that doesn't mean we have all the answeres right? Good luck with that honey! I'll be praying for you!

    Answer by Reganc at 11:18 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • Consistancy is key! Make sure you have set rules with set punishments. Dont let a behavior that you dont like go because you think if you ignore it it will go away. At 4 shes old enough for time outs. It should be 1 minute per year. Dont forget to reinforce and reward good behavior!!!

    Answer by becca2715 at 11:47 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • ask your doctor or look into programs that your hospital have. In mine they have a class for parents and 1st children so the kids can know what to expect when the baby arrives.. (my friend had a little boy who thought he was king and after those classes, he changed significantly)

    Answer by mfialdrdickhaus at 12:50 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • my oldest dd was 4 when I was expecting the 2nd. I remember I would have time outs, catch her doing something good. Bought her a new baby and let her have some of the newborn diapers the baby was going to use,, also if she wanted to use a baby outfit I let her. If she seemed to not listen I got to her level and ask her, "repeat what I just said", also stucture and routine are really key. Good luck!

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 4:17 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • I have a6, 4, and 2 year old My Answer- CC, Consistency and Consequences. I felt like my children were running over me that was enough. I do not allow anyone to treat me like dirt I now have rules, I won't say it twice cause when I do I get angry If you say it twice they win. The other one is Consequences, every law has a punishment, Pick your punishment and make sure it hurts, (not neccarily physically!) My second son get s no candy, sweets or anything with sugar, because he LOVES sugar, I learned real fast when we got cookies at a grocery store one time and middle boy was whining (against the rules)about who's cookie was bigger . I sat him in the cart and ate his cookie in front of him. My heart broke in two as I watched tears fall down his cheeks as he watched his cookie disappear. I have not heard him whine about who's is bigger again. my boys are worth the pain in my heart to teach them right from wrong becauses it will save them so much hurt down the road.

    Answer by raawmom at 1:56 AM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • My son was the same way, especially in public, because he knew we would not yell too loud. We finally came up with a tiered punishment plan. He has three rules, one of which is listen to mom and dad and do what you are told the first time. If he breaks one rule he gets a warning. Second rule broken, or same rule broken again gets the first punishment (no calling grandma) and if he breaks another rule or same rule again, he losses his favorite toy (superhero costumes) for the day. Since we have started this (about a month), my son has only lost his costumes once, and has not gotten to call grandma only twice. Great improvement.

    Answer by Dorfsmith at 10:38 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

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