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Would you be upset at your MIL for this

My father in law passed away in Nov, by Jan she was already looking for a new bf, by May she got with someone.... Since then its been him him him him.

Hubbys birthday was Aug 4th & she didn't even bother to tell him Happy Birthday, get him anything, nothing.... & we live with her

In july was my sons birthday, she came to the party, but slept & stayed inside all day. Not bothering with anyone, not even her own parents.

Tomorrow is the New A[hole)'s birthday... She took the whole day off, knowing that he's gotta work until five anyway.

My husband is upset, & I am too. Would anyone else be?


Asked by lilmoosesmom at 5:34 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,133 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Well I would say something to her about this, Have your hubby tell her that it really pisses him off that she can drop everything for this asshole of BF. But when it comes to you all she could give two shits. Does she live with you all or do you all live with her? Not that matters. It seems to me that she is becoming very heartless and that isn't right cause no matter what in the end her family is what is always gonna be there for her not some "Tom Smith" that she dates. I would have your hubby say something it may wake her up more then you saying something. GL with everything.

    Answer by raemommy at 5:43 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • People grieve in different ways. It's NO ONE's place to pass judgment. If you don't care for the way she is handling her own life, then move out of her house.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 6:18 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Yes, I READ the question. NO, I wouldn't be upset. Being upset because of how she is handling her life in the months - and even years - after the loss of a spouse isn't being supportive, it isn't being understanding, and it isn't being family. No. Grief and its impact is so much more than most people even begin to comprehend.
    If she feels that taking the day off - or multiple days off - or even more - to spend with the new person in her life, FINE. And if she misses a birthday? That's fine too. She's suffered a tremendous loss.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 6:25 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Oh, how dare she! She's living her own life in her own house! She didn't bend over backwards on birthdays. She removed herself from a situation full of people (a celebration, at a time when she likely doesn't feel like celebrating). Do I think she's probably moving too fast? Yep, probably. But that's her right. It's about her, it's not all about you.
    Nope, wouldn't be upset with her at all.

    Answer by jinxandjoy at 6:28 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • "In july was my sons birthday, she came to the party, but slept & stayed inside all day. Not bothering with anyone, not even her own parents."

    Yeah. That's what grief looks like. One of the many faces of grief.

    No. I wouldn't be upset. There's no reason to be upset.

    Answer by missingruth at 6:44 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Yeah, but what can you do. Selfish people rarely care about hurting others.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:36 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • it just makes me soo mad. It wouldn't bother me so much I guess if this guy wasn't a jerk

    Comment by lilmoosesmom (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • My Moms current husband is like that. Always has been. As soon as she met him it was all about him and we could have been dpg food for all she noticed.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:39 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • yes i would be. my MIL doesn't acknowledge my kids birthday with a card a call or anything but sends her grandsons 50 dollar gift cards to walmart and goes out and spends a bunch of money taking them out. and for christmas she got the girls a ball and got the grandsons what they wanted plus 50 dollar gift cards thy were told to hide but because the oldest boy steals from school and he lives with us til his dad gets back from Afganistan his was found then it was told. :( this year her son my husband told me she is not even getting a card for anything. everything she was buying was with her exes money that she still had access to which is his father.

    Answer by sherryb1273 at 5:40 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I would be upset...especially if you remember her b-day etc.

    Answer by lizard111 at 5:43 PM on Aug. 22, 2010