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Stepmoms - Are you 100% happy with your decision to marry a man with kids from a previous relationship?

As a stepmom, I know the challenges that come along with most blended family situations, so I am wondering how often it is that a stepmom is 100% happy with her decision to marry a man who had children from a previous marriage.
Personally, I am mostly happy, but not 100%....

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texassahm

Asked by texassahm at 5:50 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 12 (751 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • When I was married to a man who had kids from his first marriage it wasn't the kids who made me unhappy, it was their father being a verbally abusive ass. He would have been that with or without the kids. I loved those kids very much and part of the reason I stayed so long was because of them.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:51 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Honestly, no! Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but these kids do not act the same as they did when we first got together. My Stepdaughter was only like 5 or 6 when we first got together, and she's gotten a major attitude in the past few years, and constantly fights with our daughter who's 3. I also didn't expect to be a SAHM while my husband works 80+ hours a week and take care of EVERYTHING without his help! I was happy when we first got together, and first got married, but there's has been a lot of changes in our lives, and some of them are for the worse.
    bethanysmom1007

    Answer by bethanysmom1007 at 5:55 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Actually yes I am 100% happy. I am a stepmom to an 11 year old boy. We have it a little diffrent though. I came into their lives when he was 4 and his Bio mom was no where to be seen. She had decided that drugs were more important. I call him my son who I didn't have to go through the pain of delivering. I actually couldn't see my life without him. As I said though things are diffrent for us. As soon as we save up the money I will be adopting him (he asked me to).
    Juggalette0327

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 6:03 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I think expecting 100% happiness is not reasonable. I expected there to be conflicts. What I never expected, however, is that ten years later, my DH's ExW would be just as insane as the day I met her.
    Micksbabe

    Answer by Micksbabe at 6:10 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • lol @ Micksbabe!! I didn't know that 16 years later our X would be just as insane or more at times either! I am as happy as happy can be in our situation. 100% ? Nah, too much baggage...and still continues even thru grown children. That's why I always tell my daughter to run the other direction fast if she meets a man w/kids from a previous marriage.
    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 6:17 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • @ bethanysmom. My hubby still works 70-80+ hours a week...I feel your pain. Even tho we just made our last payment she wrongfully sucked outta him...we have a coupla years to fix the damage she created when hubby lost his job a fews years back and took a huge pay cut at another job. The lack of bennies killed us...she did some damage I tell ya. Hang in there...good luck!
    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 6:21 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I didn't marry a man with children. My 3 year old stepson came to us 3 years into the relationship.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:24 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I am 100% happy with the man I chose to marry however his kids HATE me so it makes it REALLY hard...
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 7:35 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • No I am not happy being married to a man that has children even though his children are all grown sometimes 2 of them are more drama then what happens on CafeMoms. He also has a physco bitch for an ex wife that I can't stand being around. I would look more into his family if I had to do it all over again.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 7:35 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I don't know how to answer this totally. I love my DH and both my SS and SD. My SS claims me as his own mother and doesn't even mention his BM to anyone. When asked who is his mom he tells them me, when they say no your birth mother he says me, and tells them this story to go with it. Thats another story and history there. My SD is awesome, and I do anything for her but she is still with BM. The one thing I do not like about the whole thing is what she has done and is doing to SS and SD. so I guess if you are asking all around I would say 95%.
    mommy6xs

    Answer by mommy6xs at 8:45 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

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