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2 Bumps

Feeling pressured to go back to work from other people.!

Lately, Ive been feeling pressured to go back to work by my room mate.
I live with my Fiance and roommate, and they pay half of the bills and rent. And my roomate has been making me feel bad about being a stay at home Mom. Making extreamly rude comments like "oh you should be working not sitting at home doing nothing" or this one time he made a comment about not supporting someone elses family. And what he ment by that was he wasn't going to support me and my son to live hear. I explained to him that he's paying what he's paying for himself to live hear not anyone else. And he continues to comment to me about not working. So now I feel like I need to go out and get a job, and help pay rent even though I want to stay home with my son for atleast 1 more year. Am I wrong for not going out and getting even a part time job to help bring in some extra income?

Answer Question
 
motherofone1990

Asked by motherofone1990 at 5:56 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I would look for a new place to live. I wouldn't want to live in a house with someone who didn't respect me.
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 5:57 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I think you need to not have a roommate. He sounds like an a**. If your SO is fine with it and you are making your 1/2 of the bills, I would tell him to kiss my butt! Talk to your SO and let him talk to the guy.
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 6:00 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I would talk to my fiancee about looking for a new place to live.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 6:00 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Is his rent less b/c its just him, or does he pay equal to what you guys pay? If he is paying less, then its none of his business. Maybe its time to find a new roomate
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 6:00 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I agree that maybe you should look for another place to live

    But I am curious, if you got a job, would he still expect the bills to be that he pays half and your fiance pays half? Maybe he feels that if you got a job, you would contribute and it would be split in thirds. He might be strained financially and taking it out on you. Why don't you try talking to him about it and see what his reasons are. If he is still bitter, then try to find another place to go.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:01 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • maybe you don't need a job maybe you just need a different place to live, perhaps you could remind him someone paying half th bills is better than no one paying half the bills. You need to do whats in the best interest on your family and moms who can stay home with their kids the first year or two are awesome but here's a compromise that has worked fabulously for me and my family. Being a stay at home mom bored the you know what out of me. After being home with my baby for a year i decided i wanted to go back to work, but i didn't my son to be in daycare and i didn't want to miss a thing. I work as a nanny outside my home 40 hours a week for triplets who are my sons age. I love it. It pays well, my son comes with me he gets socialization, it's flexible and i just love it. I got my job from craigslist. It might be something you AND your little one would enjoy
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 6:09 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • but layh makes a good point as well
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 6:10 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • So who's name is on the lease? If you are living with SO and he is okay with things the way they are then the room mate really has no say in it. He is probably just bitter because with 3 adults he was hoping the rent could be split three ways thus lowering his amount...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:10 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Was the agreement always the three of you pay half and the rommy pays half? My son got suckered into an agreement like that. Unless this roomy occupies twice the living space your family does..he's getting screwed. Sorry, just the way I see it.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:14 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • My question is if you did get a job would the bills still be split 50/50 or would it be split in thirds? If it would still be 50/50 then the only people who need to worry about whether you work or not are you and your fiancee. I think your fiancee needs to have a talk with him about this. You would need to find child care for the baby and that costs money. Personally I would not let him pressure you and if it becomes that big of a problem then find another place that you and your fiancee can afford and get out of there. I am also assuming you do most of the housework since you are staying at home so short of cleaning the roommates personal spaces you are cleaning the entire house. Point that out to the roommate too and politely tell him that if you start working then he will have to start helping out with the housework since he lives there too.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 6:14 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

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