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I'm a SAHM but I want to go back to work!!! I want to use my brain and manage my own money.... advice??

My husband works for his dads company and they have a rule that no spouses work there, which is fine bc I wouldnt want my father in law as my boss. Anyway.. my husband gives me a credit card for expenses but the past month it keeps getting declined on and off... WHY? Not because he doesnt have the money but because he just forgets to pay it and when I remind him .. he acts like its not a priority.

I used to be so in control of my money.. I had a great job.. paid off my school loan, bought a nice car in full, and saved money for a future condo. Now, sometimes I feel like I am just a maid.. when I used to feel so independent and smart.

I have a degree and used to be a director for a company. Lately, it is really getting to me.. I love being with my little guy but he also gets bored and wants to go to school etc. When I tell my hubby I want to go back to work, he says there is plenty of work to do at home.

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Asked by proudtxmom22 at 6:28 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 4 (40 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • WELL I COULD have wrote this myself!! We have SO much in common!! I'm in the EXACT same boat as you...right down to my bf working for his father. He pay's all the bills, handles all the expenses, and I make nothing. I HATE IT. I too used to be independent and I had a job, my own place and money. I have a son..he's 2 years old and he's a major handful. I'm grateful my mom takes him 2 day's a week for me to have some ME time. I don't have a degree your a head of me there, but I want to go back to school. SO my plan: I want to start some place small and try to work my way up, when my son starts school. For me It's a few years off...but what can I do, I really don't want my pay cheque to go to Day Care and it's VERY expensive! I feel your depression over your situation. I'm slowly going to get my independence back. It will take time, but eventually you can be happy working at being home part time. Happiness matters too

    Answer by aidansmyheart at 6:47 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I should add...while it's nice for some women , to stay at home there's women who are too independent to do that. And it's totally normal, I have gotten over my guilt I carried. I felt like If I go back to work, my child will be raised by strangers at a day care! I've chosen to go back when he's in school though...just so I have a bit more peace of mind. Have you tried explaining to your husband you don't want to let go of who you were, before you guy's met..and it gives you a sense of who you are, to work? Don't sell out...happiness matters more than money in my books!! Good luck to you, I hope you do go back to work and feel proud of yourself. I too feel like a maid every day, sometimes I cry when I'm alone and think about all the women out there, driving around in their own cars, living on their own..makes me sad, so I know I need to work too.

    Answer by aidansmyheart at 7:00 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I work outside the home and I have been on vaction for almost a week now and so much of me doesn't want to go back to work. My DD has never been in childcare we(my DH and I)have never left her with anyone not even family.But anyways, we work different shifts so we can do it.But, I make more money then he does and some times I just want to hand him the bills and say you do it for once.Not that he doesn't help me with bills.I am just always stressed out because i want to be with my DD more i want to have time to myself and I want to just throw my hands in the air and give up at times.I love my family more then anything but,I spent 7 weeks home with my DD when i had her and the first 8 months back to work I couldn't get home quick enough to have her in my arms.
    I understand where you are coming from momma but just think about how much you will miss your child. Having money of your own is great and all paying bills suck.Gl momma

    Answer by raemommy at 7:00 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • SCENTSY!!!! This is what I chose to do from home for similar reasons. I make my own money...and have an awesome time doing it. Funny thing husband even got interested in it...and helps get more business!!! :-) I've become alot more independent since joining Scentsy, and I've also been able to stay home with my kids and not sign my check over to daycare. But, if you're wanting to do something else...I say GO FOR IT!!!! Things can still get done at home. The hubby should even help out!! It's completely fine if you choose to go back to work. Sort of sounds like hubby might feel kinda "little" if you go back to work, and he feels like he's not taking care of business. Just reassure him the reasons why you want to join the work force again...and that it's not because of anything he's not doing, or anything he's not able to take care of. It's just something you need to do for yourself!!!

    Answer by NicoR at 7:46 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • You can do both by working from home. I can show you how. No inventory! Will send you a message with details.

    Answer by Gene_Godwin at 2:32 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Maybe you can compromise with him and get a part time job. That way you'll be making a pay check and would still have time to do things at home. Maybe you could also start your own home based business and do consulting work or freelance writing. With your business background, your expertise would be in high demand.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 11:37 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I do career and job search coaching (I never charge Cafemoms for my services). I will be happy to help you re-establish your careeer.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:26 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Have you ever thought about working from home? I work from home and I love it!!! I am a stay at home Mommy to my 3 year old son, and 17 month old daughter. I work with a great team of Moms; we help each other create income from home. No parties, No inventory! Weekly pay! Free website, training, and unlimited support!!
    I would love to give you more information and help you reach your financial goals!

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    Answer by mommy2joeynabby at 7:28 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

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