Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

So me and my SO finally talked things out

So he tells me that he needs to work with himself because he knows he has anger problems. He wants to go to counseling to see if a separation would be a good idea. My issue is that he still wants to live together until he finds a new place. I find this hard to deal with because I don't want a separation and I'm trying to be patient but I think I should just give up. The last fight we had lasted a month without speaking and he basically told me he was done and that I was on my own. He was mad that I blew up about his mom in front of my daughter. In addition he feels that I neglected him and was too involved with school, work and never made time for us. That I never showed him love or appreciation. What is your opinion? I thought we were doing good before this argument and long an behold I got a list of things that he never communicated to me.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • TO me it sounds like he's done...when they start finding ANY reason to be pissed then that's enough for me...it's a never ending battle..you'll go in circles for years like that if you're not careful. Maybe YOU need to be the one to say "enough already"...you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. If he goes to anger management, then good for him...it doesn't mean he will want to work things out. He sounds like he wants ALL your time and attention. In my opnion, that's not a healthy relationship...People need to have their own lives outside of their relationships. It's difficult but good luck
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 7:49 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • It sounds like he doesn't want to work things out. He's been harboring some resentment, or he is just making excuses - either way it doesn't sound like he intends on being with you.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:51 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • He wants to live together until he finds a new place. He thinks you are over then you need to move his stuff out and file for custody and support if you have kids together. If you can live together and not talk to each other for a month then it isn't a good environment for any of you.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 8:08 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Sounds like there still is hope because it sounds like he's stalling on the separation issue. I've had arguments with my dh that lasted months, and few that has lasted years. But there was plenty of time that we could act civil with each other despite being so angry. If you haven't gone to relationship counselling, do so even if he decides to leave. Working on yourself is always invaluable. As to the list of things he didn't communicate before, take that list and see what you can do. He's communicating now and that's what you both need if your going to work things out. Is there truth to you neglecting the relationship? Just remember that his list is his truth as you have your own truth. Reality is somewhere in the middle. If you can devote time to him and the relationship, maybe that will ease some of his feelings of neglect.

    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:52 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN