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What should I do?

My boyfriend and I are dating for the second time. During our first relationship (we rushed before we were ready as a couple for certain things), and got engaged, and had a son.Because we were not ready things fell apart, and we took a break.During this time, a female co-worker who he is now friends with invited him out, and he went because he was lonely. I've wondered all along if there might be something going on between the two (he and I got back together and have now been dating for almost a year), but they are both just friends and have assured me they don't have feelings for each other. However, today, he told me he had never really thought about it before, but admitted that he thinks he had a crush on her back then, but she didn't like him. He thinks that's why nothing happened, and also because he had stronger feelings for me. What I am wondering is if I should just give up on our relationship now, in case he realizes

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countrygirl1987

Asked by countrygirl1987 at 8:33 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (364 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • He does have more than friendly feelings for her now, or forge forward with our relationship, since nothing happened between them then and still hasn't now?
    countrygirl1987

    Comment by countrygirl1987 (original poster) at 8:34 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I would be open with him and tell him how you feel about the situation. I'm the type of person that will tell whoever i'm with straight up to their face " don't waste my time"...so if your like that I would tell him!
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 8:35 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • No. I don't think you should ditch this relationship just in case. I think it took a lot for him to tell you he had a crush on her way back then, and to admit all of that. Does he think he still has one now? Cause if he does, then that's a different story! Although, I am a firm believer that men and women can't be friends. I think that since he seems to be honest, that you and he need to talk this through so that you are comfortable. You have had a rocky relationship, and it won't ever be stable if this isn't settled. But you can't accuse him, or make him feel accused of anything. Just ask him pointed questions, to get the answers you need. It's only far, especially since you have a child together.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:39 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • well if he had a crush, then he had a crush, but nothing ever came from it? & things have been good for a year, i think its great he was honest with you. But at the same time, you seem worried. I wouldnt worry about it though. My hubby has female friends he used to have crushes on & I have male friends I use to have crushs on. As long as he keeps being honest with you Id try to make it work, but thats just me

    At the end of the day, you have to ask your self, do you want to throw everything away becuase of a crush from the past?
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 8:39 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • why would you give up when he said he USE TO have a crush on her
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 8:40 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I think its safe to conitnue the relationship with him as long as you can trust him unconditionally and not have any doubt in what he is telling you.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:48 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Used to have a crush on her means he could develop feelings again. Hence my worry.Though she has made it clear on her end that she doesn't want to date him.I just don't want to be stayed with if he did develop feelings for her because she didn't feel the same way about him.
    countrygirl1987

    Comment by countrygirl1987 (original poster) at 9:05 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

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