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5 Bumps

Am I doing something wrong?

I know that it is normal for 2 year olds to be very active and not listen but I feel like I cannot control my child. I do everything I know to do and he still pays no attention to me. He won't even sit still in time out and if I try to hold him he starts kicking and screaming and trying to bite. I know it is my job to control him but it seems like nothing I do is working and I feel like I'm doing something wrong or at least not doing something right. I know to be patient and consistent but I still feel like I should be something to make sure my kid doesn't grow up to be a hellion. Help? I am trying my best so if you still feel ignorant enough to bash please, feel free.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • it sounds like he is in that stage where he is pushing boundaries to see how far you will let him go. We all go thru it.

    Don't hold him when in time out. Just keep putting him back there. He will soon learn that no matter what, you will always win. It's a power struggle. Just stay consistant. If you tell him that its time out and he puts himself in timeout somewhere other than where you want him, sometimes it's just best to leave them there as long as he stays put for the entire time.

    Keep your calm. If you lose it, it will show him that he is getting to you and he will learn how to push your buttons. GL! It will pass
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:17 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • You have to stay firm and consistent. With my kids I do a 1 - 2 - 3 count. They know when I get to 3 they are either getting a time out or a single spank to the bottom.

    My daughter will be 3 on 11/1 and she will not respond to 1, but at 2 just jumps to do what I asked. My 9yr old, I can't even remember the last time I had to count. Counting for him = no video games.

    The real key with us, was eye contact
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 10:20 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • My kid is like this some days too. He's almost two. I still have him in a crib so that is where he gets time outs. I can't for the life of me get him to clean up his toys, eat without throwing food everywhere, stop climbing on everything, etc. No means nothing to him, except for when he says it of course. I think it's the 2 year old faze, but I'm bumping you because I'm curious too.
    sunshine58103

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 10:21 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • My 2 yr old son is the same way. He thinks time outs are fun and spankings don't phase him. It seems to be a boy thing because his big sister was never like this. Tonight right before bed he climbed up on the coffee table and smiled at me (he knows that's against the rule). I told him to get down or he'd get a time out. He started to dance on the table (I kid you not). So I told him he gets a time out and he said "Yay! Timeout corner. Then he happily stood in the corner and waited fr me to tell him his time was up. Then he ran right back to the table and climbed up. So, I spanked him. He climbed on the table and danced again.

    You are so not alone. I'm a certified teacher and feel like I'm razing a wild animal instead of a a son.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:35 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • I'd pick up some discipline books from the book store or library if I were you. It's hard for strangers on the internet to know exactly what isn't working, but maybe as you read these books you'll be able to recognize something.

    I know that it's important to get down on their level and look them in the eye, speak firmly and directly - but don't yell. I also know that time outs work less the more you talk during them. If you take him and sit him in a time out don't interact with the crying. If he gets out just move him back in without a word. Don't look at him, don't interact, just put him back and walk away as many times as you have to. Then when you think the time out is over, get down on his level look him in the eye and talk to him about why he's in time out, tell him to say "sorry" and then give him a good hug.

    Good luck, and really try to look into some of the discipline books that are out.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 6:37 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • beckcorc is right about not interacting during time out but she's wrong about having him say sorry. If you make them say sorry every time they break a rule it loses its meaning for them and then they act out and just say sorry and think it makes it ok. You don't want your kiddo climbing and jumping off the couch and then saying "sorry."
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:15 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I agree with everyone else. Kids go through phases of good and bad behavior all the time. There's a really why its called the terrible 2s! Just stay strong and keep using time out (if that is your method of choice) and every time he gets out of time out, put him back in. I believe it is 1 minute per age of the child. So 2 minutes of time out without kicking and screaming the whole time, is what he needs to achieve. You can explain it to him in the best way you think he will understand. And just keep putting him back until he does it. Its hard to just not break because it IS work but good luck and the phase will be over soon.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:03 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I'm with these guys. Consistency is KEY. His job at this age is to push the limits, and see where they REALLY are. We do time-outs much like beckcorc. We don't interact with our son in time-out (unless he gets up, in which case we make him sit back down), then we review why he was in timeout, make him apologize to the person he hurt or the parent who put him in timeout, give a hug, then we move on. Yelling doesn't work. I think ThrivingMom thinks that if a kid says sorry, they shouldn't be punished for misbehaving, but I disagree. I don't think that's what beckcorc was saying, either.
    You can do this! We all go through it. Just try to keep your cool and stay consistent. Take a breather yourself if you can, too. Call a friend to step in and give you a few minutes to go for a walk and blow off some steam when it gets really bad.
    Good luck!!!
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:08 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Have to be consistant!!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 7:25 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

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