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Help, my son thinks he's in love with an older woman.

My son is 17. He's been seeing a woman who is 26. She is good for him. He has grown up a lot mentally since they got together. I'm not sure if they're relationship is sexual yet. I don't want to know. We live in Texas, so he's of legal age anyway. My problem is this woman has tried to break it off with him. She tells him he needs girls his own age. He thinks he's in love with her and she keeps taking him back. How do I get him to see he needs to let her go? I think they have some type of connection, but why can't he try again with her in a few years when he knows who he is and what he wants from life?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • Ouch! That one is tough, though I almost bet that if it just runs its course he will get over her even if it takes awhile. Now on the other hand when I was 18 I married a man MUCH older than myself, needless to say my parents were not happy about it. As the story goes we ended up divorced because I grew up and realized he was not the man for me. I am sure you will hear many people say how in the world could you let him see someone so much older than him but like you said he is of legal age to have sex (which probably has happened seeing as he is so "in love" and the hardest to get over if she is his first). As much as it breaks your heart knowing that he needs to move on, support his choices as he will be an adult soon enough and be there when the fall does happen.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Honestly sweetie he is not of age. Texas law states that at the age of 16 he can consent to sex, BUT the other person can't be more than 2 years his senior. So in reality this woman is too old for him, and I think its alittle weird that she is 26 and messing with this YOUNG man. I honestly think something isn't right about the woman, and you might need to explain that to him and her. I would have you all sit down together and discuss this, because if he is still living in your home, YOU hold the rules. You need to let her know, what she's doing is technically illegal and you can charge her, and what is her intentions with your son, being she is 26 years old. Its kinda gross to me, and needs to be stopped. More than likely she is using him, and he needs to know it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I have no answer either. I have 2 Teenage Daughters tho and they will not date any Man over 18 till they are 18 themselves. I think it is harder for young men tho. The locker room chat must be something for a young guy his age. My Hubby say's that had he dated a woman that age, his buddy's would have been jealous as hell. Good luck with this one.

    Answer by Treysmommy2 at 11:58 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Sadly it is their decision. A friend of mine has a similar situation he is 16 and she is 20 and recently pregnant.... both are unemployed and sleep at this friends or that friends, since they do not have a pace of their own to live. They keep hanging, maybe if they were older the families would be willing to help with food and shelter at least. Kids rebel no matter how well we teach them. At some point in time they will come back to their basic values learned as i child. I have 3 daughters for proof. Maybe you should encourage rather than try to tear apart. This worked with a boy recently who wanted to stay at our house because he was a friend of our grand daughter and wants to marry her later>>>> i just continually ask about the wedding date each day he showed up at the door, Finally he stoped showing up, one less mouth to feed at our house and less laundry to do... LOL hehe.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I think it is just one of those things he will probably get over it unless it is meant to be. I would just let him see what happens, more than likely he will stop dating her, or she will break up with him. Personally, I married a guy 7 years older than me, but I was 18 when we met and I fell quickly for him, I knew him really well when we married and now we had been married 15 years and have 2 children. If it was me I wouldn't let my son date some one that age unless he was 18. Although, you don't want to force him to stop seeing her, as that will might make him want to do it more. My mom wasn't crazy about the age difference in me and my husband, but she got over it. I always liked older guys. You just never know.

    Answer by Denahowy at 3:47 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • As I said before, this woman is good for him. He works long hours, but she is constantly telling him he'll never be able to have anything without a job. She makes him save at least half of his paycheck every week. When they go out somewhere, they split the costs. He wanted to quit school and move in with this woman. She told him absolutely not happening. She constantly tells him about the things he's missing out on being with her instead of being with someone his own age. Sadly enough, I like this woman. She is very important to my son and she and her kids have become a part of our family. She has her own house, her car is paid for, and she has a very good job. She has invited me over many times for supper. My son has asked her to marry him. She keeps telling him maybe after he starts college and begins his life. I'm just worried he's in too deep and he's going to be extremely hurt when he realizes things eventually end.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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