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Does your almost 4yr old not listen, drive you nuts? test you no matter what? HELP

My daughter is a very sweet girl but does not listen no matter what we do time outs etc. She seems to have no fear of us when we get stern & tell her to STOP doing things. Its hard to deal with everyday and don't want to spank her all the time. Today I took her to a birthday party & she was acting up, being a bra,t not listening or sitting quietly like the other kids were. I did feel hot at the neck and a little embarrassed by it. She doesn't have alot of buddies her age & doesn't go to preschool due to financial reasons and is very bright and advanced for her age & ready for school. Anyone going through a similar hair pulling situation? We think we were to nice to her and now we are paying for it sorta say. its so hard to punish her as she is so loving and such a sweet nurturing little girl who loves to love. Its hard any advice or thoughts from parents going through this similar situation is appreciated. We love her so much.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Aug. 22, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • I think it's fairly common... my son turned 3 in June, but he is EXTREMELY intelligent and knows how to push buttons. He doesn't really act up with strangers, and he's pretty good with kids around his age, but he also loses interest and tries to play by himself after awhile even while kids are over... he is VERY head strong, and I think that much of the time, he's not really even aware that he's doing something wrong, he's just pretty adamant about getting his way. I've found that (for him) the best approach is to not entertain him when he's being really pushy, answer calmly, and if he acts bad I give him a time out and tell him that he has to sit on his bed or the couch until he calms down, and if he gets up (which can be the tricky part, cause you may have to do it MANY times) take him back. When I can tell that he's calmed down but he's upset (which is usually the way that it goes) I go over and give him a hug.Good luck!
    CoffeyCrafts

    Answer by CoffeyCrafts at 10:54 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • i do not know what state you are in, but most states have preschools for those who cannot afford them. There are also scholarships available at some church schools.
    Federal government has furnished grants so that all kids can afford to have preschooling. If your daughter has socialization problems this might be another reason she would qualify for this school.
    They are working towards having all children starting off on track.
    My 3 and half year old tries this sometimes. We use time out. We do not spank. She has much better control and acts much better if she is rested. Therefore, we go out of the way to see that she gets her nap and gets to bed at a reasonable time.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:23 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Good ole fashion spanking for not following the rules and rewards when she does.
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 11:04 PM on Aug. 22, 2010

  • Yes my DD is exactly like that. we found a chore chart helps us and "tickets" and when she has them all taken away she does not get her quarter...thats the going rate around her for listening and being good! She loves to earn quarters and she is usually more helpful them my 6 year old.
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 3:21 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Ive got four daughters and they are all very different. However we've got a very stubborn 5 year old who we had trouble disciplining in the begininng. We use time outs but have found that positive reinforcement is much better and so ive put together star charts, when theres good behaviour they get stars and when the behaviour is bad they get sad faces(stickers). At the end of the week we count how many stars each child has received and depending on that we give small rewards. It seems to work!
    Sparkle-Mom

    Answer by Sparkle-Mom at 10:26 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Are you sure you don't have my 4 year old there with you? lol She can be that way at times but I have to remember to breath and remember she is pushing bounderies to see where she can get away.
    StephanAndCoral

    Answer by StephanAndCoral at 9:38 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

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