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Who handles visitation transportation?

If you've been through a divorce, how was visitation transportation handled?

1- Who did pickup/dropoff
2- Did visitation cross state lines? And if so, was "who did the transportation" influenced by the state you lived in?
3- How often was visitation
4- How much travel was involved in visitation exchanges?
5- Was the pickup/dropoff situation chosen by the court? Or arranged via mutual agreement
6- Did pickup/dropoff change for any reason? (ie: for subsequent pregnancies?)

I've handled 100% of pickup/dropoff for over a year now. I live in NJ and have to take public transportation into NYC. It's a two hour one way trip that involves busses/trains and transfers. I handled it for my entire pregnancy and have handled it with a newborn. It just seems.. A bit excessive? Just to drop him off I have to leave at 7:30AM and I don't get back until 1PM at the earliest. Anyone else have anything similar?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:26 AM on Aug. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Who made these arrangements?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:28 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Who handles the exchanges should be outlined in your divorce. If not, I would talk to the Dad and just tell him it was too much! That he was going to have to handle it half the time.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 7:28 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • My friend has never been married or anything but her CS papers say that if one of them moves more then 50 miles away they must meet half way. It also says that if one parent drops/picks up the child then the other parent must drop/pick up the child.

    Look at your divorce decree and see what it says. If it says he must help then make him help. Tell him you won't be doing it all by yourself. If it does not say anything then talk to him about it. Tell him either way he needs to make a effort to help.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 7:32 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • we have always lived across the country from the kids Father. He has always handled all the travel arrangements & travel costs. Unfortunately he hasn't been very consistent in his visitation, but when he wants to the arrangements are made by him. I feel that it is a privledge to get to spend time with my children and he should have to pay for that privledge!
    shareleann

    Answer by shareleann at 7:57 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I would switch of and on if you drop the child off then the ex can bring the child home. It you both to make the child so it should not be all one sided. The way it works with my step-kids is we go and get them and there mother will meet us half way for the way back then the next time they come down she meets us halfway and then we bring them all the way home. If there's an issue you need to speak up right away cause then maybe you all can find a new way of doing things. Commiucation is huge in any kind of relationship you have to deal with. Even with EX's.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 7:59 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I meet my ex halfway, it's a 200 mile trip. He gets the kids every other weekend. My DH's ex lives much closer, and the parent who is receiving the children pick them up. We have them 50% of the time. I believe it's pretty standard to split the transportation.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:35 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • 1- Who did pickup/dropoff
    It is stated in my custody agreement that the children be dropped off at the other parent's house, rather than picked up - so it depends on which way they are coming

    2- Did visitation cross state lines? And if so, was "who did the transportation" influenced by the state you lived in?
    No across state lines

    3- How often was visitation
    Every other weekend

    4- How much travel was involved in visitation exchanges?
    About 5 minutes

    5- Was the pickup/dropoff situation chosen by the court? Or arranged via mutual agreement
    by the courts

    6- Did pickup/dropoff change for any reason? (ie: for subsequent pregnancies?)
    Only once - I had a csection and couldn't drive so I asked him to pick them up

    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:43 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • didn't know it got that detailed. I thought they just drove over and visited and went home
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:28 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • 1- Who did pickup/dropoff
    BM drops off at our house, DH takes them back to her house.
    2- Did visitation cross state lines? And if so, was "who did the transportation" influenced by the state you lived in?
    No
    3- How often was visitation
    DH has 50/50, so Wed-Sat, then Wed-Sun
    4- How much travel was involved in visitation exchanges?
    About 15 miles one way
    5- Was the pickup/dropoff situation chosen by the court? Or arranged via mutual agreement
    Arranged via mutal agreement
    6- Did pickup/dropoff change for any reason? (ie: for subsequent pregnancies?)
    Not yet...if BM asks us to keep the kids later than the CO time on either Sat or Sun, DH always tells her she has to come pick them up.
    mrsbrown1

    Answer by mrsbrown1 at 11:08 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • In my papers it states that he will arrange for all transport but since I am usually on my way home and pass his house, I pick her up. We work it out.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:40 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

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