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3 Bumps

The Cafemom Group, it's truly like middle school (semi-vent)..........

I'm a laid back person, loving mom, devoted wife, good neighbor, etc. I don't like drama in real life-but for some reason, I find myself drawn to the extreme drama on the Cafemom group. Negativity, rudeness, racism, bashing and other BullShittery runs rampant there. I've found myself saying "I'm just going to check it out for a few minutes" to only find myself still at my keyboard an hour or more later. I had to step back and ask myself "Why"? To witness grown women go at it like middle schoolers day after day is mind numbing. I'm sure negativity will find it's way to this question-Why can't women on that group answer each others posts without resorting to name calling or bashing each other? Women can disagree in a spirited manner without being bitches. I've shortened the amount of time I spend there-I'll eventually stop-but it's sad to see obviously intelligent women go at each other like cats and dogs, really it is :(


Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 AM on Aug. 23, 2010 in About CafeMom

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • When I first came to Cafemom a year ago, it was simply to play Latte Land. One day, I ventured off into the group department... holy crap... it was like a bunch of PTA mom's at a MaryKay meeting gone awry in a sorority house... I was almost appalled that these women were of the same species as me...

    Sometimes this whole place is like PMS on global steroids... but hey, you put a few thousand women together in the same place behind keyboards... tada... this is what you get. I have learned to avoid certain groups, take everything with a grain of salt and keep my mouth shut when need be.... left eye twitching...

    On a side note... I have met the most wonderful people on here that I am happy to call my friends...


    Answer by WoodWitch at 8:23 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I stay out of there, as I do most of the groups on CM. I have a small number of groups I go into, I even avoided answers until they changed the format. (Removing anonymity until you earned it helped clean up the questions/answers I think).

    Answer by Scuba at 8:23 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I think some of the moms here can act they way they really want to since they are "protected" since it is on-line and not in person KWIM? I just try and ignore all that stuff as best I can.

    Answer by Mommy_0f_many at 8:19 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I tend to agree with ya. I've noticed that too. Its too bad cuz they got some decent topics there I'd love to take part in, but like ya said alotta the responses are quite immature or unneccesarily nasty or judgemental.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 8:18 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I agree, OP. Are you talking about Phi Beta Mama? I thought the purpose of that group was to clarify and find solutions to problems. What I found is that the very people who are problematic in the Answers section are right there continuing the argument in a new forum. They will defend their right to call you names because they don't agree with your opinion. I never did get a response from the CM team - just more bashing from one or two members. I gave up on it.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 8:24 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • What Zoeyis said.

    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:19 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I agree completely... some of the people up here just want to make them selves feel better by putting others down ... and most would NEVER say the things they say in person that is for sure! They should becarful though cause one day they are going to mess w/ the wrong one!!

    Answer by 3beautbabies at 8:25 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I know what you mean. See it all the time. Its ridiculous. I think since there not that bold in real life they do it here to get there rocks off. It used to bother me but now it doesn't. I just tell myself that if me and that person were to meet faceto face, they either wouldn't say the things they say on here, or they would and get they're asses kicked. I have a very low tolerance for b.s.

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 8:40 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I stay very far away from those kinds of groups for that very reason.

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:35 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • i am in some groups about autism and a porn addicted husbands group
    but when i post , i do not get many answers, like four at most
    posting in q and a, gets more answers, sometimes not all helpful but more cross section of women too

    i know nothing about cafemom group - i assumed it was about how to make the site run better, new ideas for site, and issues to clear up,

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:44 AM on Aug. 23, 2010