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2 Bumps

Supermom or just OCD Mom?

Sometimes I don't always feel sorry the women that claim to do it all and never get any help. Fact is: Some of these women don't allow the help since no one can do it the way they like it done. 'It' meaning everything they do around the house.

So its really no wonder no one helps cuz they (the family) would get ragged on or they just know Mom will get it, so why bother? Is that true in some cases?


Asked by Zoeyis at 8:34 AM on Aug. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • and the people around her have chosen the highway. I wouldn't want to help someone when I know no matter what I do it's never good enough, done right, or anything else by THEIR standards.

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 8:45 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I have OCPD, So pretty much in my case, & I know it. So I dont get on the hubby too much, I only on everyone for not picking up their own Messes.

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 8:39 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I think it's true in some cases. I read the stories and some of the time it's not about not getting the help, it's about how things are not done the WAY THEY WANT. If you are wanting someone's help then you have to be able to meet them 1/2 way and know there is only so much they can do, or they may not do it up to your standard. My husband doesn't do dishes the way I would like, however he does pitch in and does do them, I have to bit my tongue and let him work. In the end the dishes are clean, just not done in away I would do it. If I ask my kids to pitch in I take into account their age and skill level. I know if they can do better, and will ask them to do better. However, I also know when they have done the best they can, so I bite my tongue, let it go, and perhaps redo it TOMORROW! I never redo it that day; because I know my kids did the best they could do! So I think in SOME cases the woman has a my way or the high way..

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 8:44 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Well, it's not true for me! I am a SAHM right now, but when I was working (and I will be again shortly, but hopefully this time will be different) Dh did nothing to contribute to the house or our Dd. I never got a break from her, and I was always the one that ended up doing everything around the house. He would even complain if I asked him to help with laundry. Luckily, because we've had a lot of conversations about this (not just the heated debates we had while I was working) he's a lot better about it. Even now that I'm not working, if I ask him to do something around the house to help out, he doesn't mind (except he still won't do dishes, which I don't mind).
    I didn't feel like a supermom when I was working, taking care of an infant, pumping so I could BF her and coming home to a dirty house that needed cleaned though. I felt like a very stressed and bitchy person. Hence why I quit working to cool off for a while.

    Answer by Mom2unangel at 8:45 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • ROFLMAO while my left eye is twitching.... actually it is itching but that is a whole different issue....

    This is the thing... I am not asking for help vacuuming or scrubbing toilets... When I refer to the whole helping out thing... I want the testosterone driven beasts in my house to stop throwing their clothes on the floor. I want them to put the garbage in the can, not on the counter. I want them to put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, not on top of it. I want them to put the pitcher of Ice Tea back in the fridge instead of leaving it out. I want them to stop treating me like the flippin maid. My little world of indentured servitude would be less like a prison sentence if they would just stop being LAZY.... they all need to get off their butts and pitch in. My 5 year old son is the only one who uses the laundry chute... the others are 16, 17 and 50....


    Answer by WoodWitch at 8:48 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • WoodWitch-That's totally different then some of the other posting I've seen. That's asking them to take care after themselves....totally different then asking for housework and then getting upset because the blue rag was used and not the green one. Or husband's take the kids for the day, but not doing things with them the way you would have done it. Or just taking the kids with you because no one, not even your husband, can care for them "properly" (i.e. the way you can/want done). Then they are upset that hubby dearest never helps out with the kids! Well hello, why would he? The moment he touches them you are correcting it (You in the general sense). That for me is the difference. I'm telling my kids to put his or that way, because they had it out. That's not the same things as being anal about "how" things are done. It's those that get anal about the how run into issues. In my opinion of course.

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 8:57 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • LOL... I pitch a fit daily.... I've tried to ignore it, but then I get a 50 year old reaming me out because his house is a mess... not a pretty sight.  I have threatened to leave them all.... I do admit to being a clean freak, although I have loosened up in my old age. I am no longer Monica from Friends... ROFLMAO.... My hubby never helps do anything, he's never watched his own children ~ he considered it babysitting.

    I have enacted new regulations: I no longer clean my older sons room that they share, I close the door. The only way anyone is going to get their laundry washed is if they take it down and sort it out. If the kitchen counter is covered with your crap, I cannot cook. If you blow something up in the microwave, you loose the privilege of using it for a week.

    That last one should put some fear into my boys...


    Answer by WoodWitch at 9:12 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • LOL. I never ask for help in cleaning the kitchen or bathrooms, or with cooking. (My kids like helping me cook - that's different, IMO). I do things my way, so I don't mind not getting help. When it comes to picking up or dusting, I have the kids help me. I don't ask my DH to do anything really, I'm a SAHM, he has a full time job, we each have our roles.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:18 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • the name btw..... what would happen if you flat out refused to clean up after them? Maybe they don't do it cuz they know "good ole Mom" will get it so we don't have to worry about it? Ie maybe your unintentionally letting it happen? :)

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 8:52 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I agree somewhat. I am that kind of person. I do most Everything Myself around the house & for my Son. But my Husband does the lawn, takes care of the cars, house maintenance like gutters, repairs etc. But! I am this way because I get absolutely NO help from my Mom & Sisters or my MIL at all. They all occasionally come to "visit" and act like guests & do nothing else. They will not even clean their place at the table. I am the personal maid when they stop by rarely and they all live close. They will bring a cake & coupons at the most. So, I do everything because otherwise it would not get done. It would be a cold day in hell before they helped me with laundry, grocery shopping or buying clothes & shoes for my Son. So I don't ask because in the past I have gotten "Oh, I don't know when /if I can do that". & that's the end of that. No babysitting either. I work weekends too & my DH watches my DS.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:57 AM on Aug. 23, 2010