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Torn between two men adult content

I have been in an open relationship with this guy for about a year now and the relationship was going great. That is until my ex-husband (the father of my children) came back into my life. Sex with the ex-husband is like a drug, I have never had better nor will I think I ever have better. To make a long story short the ex stated that he wants to start over and work things out with us. The way we make love is amazing and the connection is still there. I know that we had problems in the past which is why we are divorced but I cant help but want him back but I am also in love with my boyfriend. Im so confused right now.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Aug. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • time to make a pros & cons list.

    Why did y'all divorce if you have such a strong connection? I woud NEVER get back with my ex GROSS....LOL! But, i just don't get why you didn't try harder in your marriage if the two of you obviously love each other. How do you know it won't end in another separation? If it didn't work the first time, do you think it will work the second? Remind yourself why you divorced & ask if you could possibly put up with that again.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:45 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • you cannot base a relationship on great sex. great sex, sorry, doenst last with real life issues , child rearing, stress etc. there has to be something MORE. frankly if you are in an open relationship anyways why are you stressing? set the boundry for each of them clearly that you are not yet committing to anyone. but for the love of god dont pick a partner based solely on great sex.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:40 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • All I can say is you divorced him for a reason... keep that in mind:) Good luck.

    Answer by shanlaree at 9:40 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Oh, sweetie. I understand! The one thing I can say is: sex is not love. I understand the connection, but you need to examine a few things:
    1. Which is the healthiest relationship for you and your children? Which one is less turbulent.
    2. Why, really why, did he come back? Is he lonely? Did something not work out?
    3. Why, really why, are you interested again? Is it really because of the sex and passion and not out of true love and commitment?
    4. Where will your children be safest? And who will be able to provide for you?

    I hope it is your ex husband, really I do, but passion burns out. Love, admiration, commitment, and trust have to be there - because that is what lasts.

    Best to you.

    Answer by urkiddingright at 9:42 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I think you need to take a step back from both of them and decide what you really want. After you've done that, you should be able to know which one of these guys, if either of them, best meets your qualifications for a husband. You should be honest with both of them and tell them you need some time alone to think some things through. You don't have to say that you are trying to decide between the two of them. It may be that if you do that, one or both of them will leave and never come back, but that will give you much information regarding your decision. Look at their characters, their integrity, their willingness to commit, and those kinds of things. Physical attraction is wonderful, but a marriage cannot be based on that alone. There has to be the ability to relate on a deep emotional level, so look for that as well.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:44 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I say fellow your heart it will never lead u wrong, but with that being said make sure it is your heart and not lust....

    Answer by Jessie104 at 12:01 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • you divorced for a reason. sounds to me like it's just great sex. not something would make your relationship work a second time. you have to think of your children. if you go back to your ex husband and it doesn't work out again they will get hurt. if you're in love with your bf stay with him. sex isn't more important than having a good relationship with your children.

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 11:45 AM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • I have an open marriage, if you ever need someone to talk to, message me. But right now, just take things real slow. Make no decisions and be upfront and honest with both men, that they are still in your life. It's perfectly normal to fall in love with both. Your not strange for doing so. But you've got to let these heady emotions pass a bit before makings a decision, be it kept them both or to choose one over the other. But I want you to remember something, there is a difference in loving someone and being able to live with someone. And if your ex hasn't changed enough from what caused the divorce in the first place, maybe it's better to love from a distance instead of living under the same roof. Take your time and take it slow.


    Answer by isabellalecour at 2:04 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • Well boo to the hoo for you. Maybe you need to go and volunteer in a children's cancer ward or an animal shelter so you can learn what a real problem looks like.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:43 AM on Aug. 23, 2010