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Do you ever feel plain and ugly?

Im a 22 year old mom and am married to a very hot hot hot husband! Women always drool over him! i would suppose becuase i snagged him im somewhat good looking too, but I don feel like it. Especialy having had a baby. I used to be a 5'9" 120 pounder. now umm pudgy tummy. i hate it! Its very difficult for me to feel sexy and attractive for him. I feel like Im just plain, boring, and gross. My DH never mentions it, but he used to sneek behind my back, do the porn thing, etc. that really hurt me and how I felt about myself. He hasnt done it since, but we rarely have sex and hes gone alllll the time. He loves me, its not that. but i feel like im ugly to him. I dont have the energy to get all dolled up. Or Work out, which he likes in women. he used to tell me to go work out. what do i do, whos in the same boat with me. what have you done, to build your esteem back up? Advice, thoughts, ill take them all.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I feel the same way... But he says he is ok with it and I need to get used to it... but that doesn't change how I feel
    emturner

    Answer by emturner at 9:50 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • awe I do too sometimes. Your not =) I dont even know what u look like but i am suuuuuuuuure you still as attractive to him as you weret he day you meet
    SexxyMomma26

    Answer by SexxyMomma26 at 9:54 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I feel the same way!!! By SO tells me that he gave me that body and I carried our DD in it so he loves me for it. It makes me feel better when he says it but I still feel ugly.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 9:56 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I do too... :( but i love my son and hubby! thats what really matters right now 2 me.
    MOMSART

    Answer by MOMSART at 10:15 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I absolutely feel the same way. I feel totally digusting and just want to be how I was before I had my 2 beautiful babies, but I know that will never happen. My DH is the absolute best. He tells me that I was beautiful and sexy before and now I am even more because what I look like now is a result of giving him his two beautiful children and he wouldn't trade that for anything. He's so sweet but I feel you. I say all you can do is try to whatever you can to make yourself feel better and no one else.
    MyLoves041419

    Answer by MyLoves041419 at 10:19 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • You have to start with yourself. You need to feel attractive and happy for people to see you that way. You just had a baby and that's something you should be very proud of and should boost your self esteem. I went on long walks with my baby everyday, sometime twice. I always eat somewhat healthy and tried to update my wardrobe with couple things to feel "prettier". But I was extremely happy with everything around and the positivity over powered the maybe-not -so perfect body at that time. Chin up.

    kakamilka

    Answer by kakamilka at 10:19 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • You say you don't feel like going to work out, what about meeting up with a neighbor or friend and go for a walk. Anywhere is good. Outside, inside a mall, Walmart. Take the baby in he/she's stroller and cruise. I know after I had my daughter I felt the same way and it does take a lot out of you but everything you do for yourself each day will help. Even if it means getting a babysitter for an hour to go to the store.
    susan220

    Answer by susan220 at 10:29 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I feel the same way! I was active and hyper when I met my husband I was 5-6 108 lbs. Then I got pregnant I gained 60 pounds with my first pregnancy then I lost 30 pounds. 5 years later we had our second child I gained 40 with her and so far I have lost 25 pounds. My point is I will never be my pre pregnancy weight again. I have 2 kids to take care of and little energy now. I am now 145 and my daughter is 9 months old. I haven't felt pretty in a long time. I know exactly how you feel.
    JessicaRangel

    Answer by JessicaRangel at 11:38 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I posted the q. or comment. Yea i gained 68lbs, had a healthy daughter, 9 lber! Now she is 2 and I have only lost 58lbs in total 2 years later. Which is okay, never been a huge weight watcher, but my midsection is all lumpy and sags here or there, my small C boobs are saggy and flat due to breastfeeding! ahhh the list goes on! I just want my husband to really truly feel like he has the hottest, sexiest, most beautiful wife! Maybe he does, but ehh? not sure. Hes around women all day in class. Drives me nuts. I know i need to go and work out, but yea right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I know how you feel. My husband was hot. After my daughter was born, I went from a size 4 to a size 12--fast! But did your husband marry you because you're attractive or because he loves you? Yes, feeling good about yourself starts inside you, but it'd help if he could lighten up and support you. What helped me the most was the fact that he didn't criticize me, but I still wanted to be more attractive to him. Fast forward 16 years -- now I'm how (back to size 4) and my husband, well, not. That's what marriage is about--loving each other, no matter what.
    WD40

    Answer by WD40 at 12:30 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

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